Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

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Post by tomi1000 on Fri Jan 04, 2019 11:15 am

Thanks, HFF! Smile Yes, the clock brings me much joy! Hearing it's chime every 15 minutes brings a warmth to the house - and reminds me of my FIL lovingly winding and setting the time. It doesn't keep the best time. It looses about 3 minutes every day - but I don't mind setting it straight Smile Hubby and I were trying to figure out how old it is. He remembers it hanging on the wall in their home in India for as long as he can remember. He is pretty sure they bought it in Germany on their way to India, or perhaps on one of their journeys home in the early years of being missionaries. It is likely around 75 years old. There could be a stamp or signature of some sort on it, but we've never looked.

My viome is still saying "analyzing results". I wonder how long it takes. I'm being so impatient!

I need to make a bank run (x2) this morning. And pay bills. A is coming by this afternoon.

I ordered some stuff for mom from Amazon - I got part and the other part is supposed to come today. We are going to take it to her tomorrow or Sunday. I have not been over to her house since last March since I'm not comfortable driving that far - its only a 30 minute drive, but I get fatigued and don't feel confident in my driving skills and ability to concentrate on my driving for that long. Short little trips around town is all I can manage for now. Its better than nothing. Hopefully this will change.
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Post by tomi1000 on Fri Jan 04, 2019 11:42 am

Yesterday was spot on primal.

My paleo shake, some cashews, and salmon/rice/sushi for dinner, 1/2 bottle kombucha.

Yeah me!

I know rice is in the grey area - but its on my safe list of foods that don't give me issues so I'm eating it.
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Post by Meant2Move on Fri Jan 04, 2019 12:37 pm

The point is to figure out what works for your health/your body. 
Personally, potatoes are my friend so they always stay.  Same with some limited dairy (Greek yogurt).
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Post by tomi1000 on Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:55 pm

Meant2Move wrote:The point is to figure out what works for your health/your body. 
Personally, potatoes are my friend so they always stay.  Same with some limited dairy (Greek yogurt).

Exactly! Smile I can eat potatoes without the skin. Apples without the peel. You just gotta figure out what works and what doesn't.

But now - with the Viome testing - I hope I will gain an understanding of WHY certainly things are ok and others are not --- and in a perfect world, FIX the problems. I'm believing more and more that the bugs we host in and on our bodies --- control our bodies.
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Post by Heuristicfireflower on Fri Jan 04, 2019 4:47 pm

Nice when good memories are tied to a keepsake. I totally get that and am glad it gives you joy.
I'm curious what Viome will tell you. This kind of testing may be a linchpin for my issues as well.
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Post by Narrowminded on Fri Jan 04, 2019 6:15 pm

Sounds so exciting with the start of the garage.
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Post by tomi1000 on Fri Jan 04, 2019 11:51 pm

HFF --- if it can help it is WELL WORTH the money I'm investing. I've probably forked out about $25,000 over the past 40 years trying to diagnose and fix my gut troubles, that spread to other troubles. Obesity, hypothyroidism, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. Not to mention 10 straight years of gastric hell. Smile I'm praying this is my answer to years of prayer! Smile

The old shop is coming down slowly --- dismantling so everything can be recycled, donated, sold or disposed of properly. Tomorrow they will take off all the ship lap from the roof, then start taking down the rough sawn 6x8 beams. Smile

I'm miffed at my sweet hubby for being a butt-head............. I won't go into details. I love him dearly, but sometimes................. GRRRRR!!!!!!

I'm doing good with being back on track. 1600 calories, low carb, high fat. I'm having kombucha everyday. Smile The bloat is going away Smile
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Post by Narrowminded on Sat Jan 05, 2019 8:32 am

Happy to hear you are back on track with your eating. Holidays are hard - period.
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Post by tomi1000 on Sat Jan 05, 2019 12:09 pm

Narrowminded wrote:Happy to hear you are back on track with your eating.  Holidays are hard - period.

Yes they are hard. I usually kinda sail through without too much trouble - but this year I really strayed. Cookies, cinnamon rolls, waffles, pasta.......... ugh. And all within about a 10 day span. Luckily it only caused a few pounds of bloat/gain - not sure if its real fat pounds or just inflammation pounds. So far the scale hasn't moved. 215.2 this morning. I'm not stressing over it but I would sure be happier to see it dropping.

Viome status is still saying "Analyzing results" .............. goodness how long does it take? I wonder, how many samples can the computer work on at a time? I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the results to come through.

Still miffed at hubby. He apologized and said he would work on the problem. I have my doubts ...... but time will tell. He offered to stay up last night and talk, but I didn't want to talk about it any more so we went to sleep. I hate going to sleep angry at him -- well I guess I wasn't really angry - I'm hurt and disappointed. For me that usually comes out in anger because it feels less vulnerable. He went to work for a few hours this morning - not to our shop, but to a shop where we have hull work done. The guy is short handed right now so hubby is going to help him out.

Radio silence remains from my son. He should have received his Christmas box yesterday. I am dealing with it as best I can. "Acceptance of what is" must be a lesson I am to learn through all of this. It's been 6 months since I've heard his voice or seen his face. I miss my son.

I did not get the bills taken care of yesterday - I did go to the bank(s). I need to start working on tax stuff soon.
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Post by Narrowminded on Sat Jan 05, 2019 9:21 pm

Praying things right themselves with DH.

Still praying about the son situation
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Post by Pedidoc on Sat Jan 05, 2019 11:01 pm

^ ditto.
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Post by Lovebird on Sun Jan 06, 2019 4:25 am

tomi1000 wrote:
Thanks, Kathi Smile  I tried to go back and read my MDA posts but I can't find the first one.  Do you have a link?  I do remember where I was at that time.  I have grown and changed a lot since those days.  My health is much better - especially my gut health.  There is still room for improvement, as we all can say, and I'm ready for that to happen!  I too believe that this is going to be an amazing year!  


Wednesday is his birthday and he is actually staying home! Smile  


http://forum.marksdailyapple.com/forum/the-primal-blueprint-forum-discussion/primal-blueprint-journals/51655-fibromyalgia-and-fat-tomi-s-story

Happy belated birthday wishes to DH. Smile
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Post by Pedidoc on Sun Jan 06, 2019 8:24 am

Thanks, LB, I was hoping you'd pop in with the link.

Tomi, seriously take the time to read where you were. Time has a way of blurring the worst part of our experiences.
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Post by Rig D on Sun Jan 06, 2019 9:23 am

IMHO, you've done your part with your son. Ball is in his court, wait and see if he follows through. Otherwise, you may just have to reconcile that he is gone from your life. Sorry to say that, but I think it is true.
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Post by tomi1000 on Sun Jan 06, 2019 2:25 pm

Narrowminded wrote:Praying things right themselves with DH.

Still praying about the son situation

Pedidoc wrote:^ ditto.

thanks for the prayers - much appreciated! Smile

Rig D wrote:IMHO, you've done your part with your son. Ball is in his court, wait and see if he follows through. Otherwise, you may just have to reconcile that he is gone from your life. Sorry to say that, but I think it is true.

Yes, I have come to that realization too. When this first started to unfold in late August I expected it would take a few weeks or maybe a month to work itself out -but here we are 6 months later. The hardest part is realizing that I mean so little to him that he can so easily walk away without even trying to talk things through. I have learned to not chase after people who have chosen to walk away. However, that doesn't end the pain.
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Post by tomi1000 on Sun Jan 06, 2019 2:35 pm

Lovebird - thanks for the link - a blast from the past! I will take some time to read through.
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Post by tomi1000 on Sun Jan 06, 2019 2:40 pm

Going to mom's this afternoon. My sis is doing mom's grocery run today so she is going to meet us there.

Not a good night - the rain and wind kept sending motion detection signals to hubby's phone - so we both had a rough nights sleep.

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Post by Pedidoc on Sun Jan 06, 2019 6:01 pm

It is not that he thinks so little of you, it is all about him and his needs. He is not even thinking about how it is affecting you. You start to see it is all about me in Millennials and it gets worse with Gen X and Gen Z.
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Post by Narrowminded on Mon Jan 07, 2019 8:23 am

There is so much involved in those generations. Heck when we were kids we could just be outside and play - that’s now called free range parenting and doesn’t always go over well with authorities. It’s been the time of helicopter parents and kids being told they can turn their parents in for things they don’t like. What a mess.

We tried to steer clear of all of that in our home, but it has affected many.

Tomi-that’s not to say you did a bad job with your son, it’s society that has messed things up.
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Post by ONTARIO on Mon Jan 07, 2019 9:45 am

Pedidoc wrote:It is not that he thinks so little of you, it is all about him and his needs.  He is not even thinking about how it is affecting you.  You start to see it is all about me in Millennials and it gets worse with Gen X and Gen Z.

+1

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Post by tomi1000 on Mon Jan 07, 2019 1:44 pm

Pedidoc wrote:It is not that he thinks so little of you, it is all about him and his needs.  He is not even thinking about how it is affecting you.  You start to see it is all about me in Millennials and it gets worse with Gen X and Gen Z.

True. It has always been "all about me" with him. I've always attributed this to his basic personality (his dad was very much ME-centered). He has never had a very strong sense of how what he does effects those around him. Empathy doesn't come naturally for him. I'm sure he isn't even considering how this is effecting me.

Narrowminded wrote:There is so much involved in those generations.  Heck when we were kids we could just be outside and play - that’s now called free range parenting and doesn’t always go over well with authorities.  It’s been the time of helicopter parents and kids being told they can turn their parents in for things they don’t like.  What a mess.

We tried to steer clear of all of that in our home, but it has affected many.

Tomi-that’s not to say you did a bad job with your son, it’s society that has messed things up.

I was a very over protective mom. I guess you could say I was a helicopter mom. He was my only child, and a child I tried very hard to have -- infertility, the loss of my twins, then a difficult and scary 12 week bleed with him. My labor was not easy either. I also had my own emotional crap I was dealing with and was probably not the mom he needed me to be. When he was 5 months old we moved 500 miles away from everyone and everything I knew. I was scared, lonely and without any type of emotional support. I was depressed for most of his childhood - and totally unprepared to deal with his withdrawn personality and social anxiety issues. I was a single parent for the most part - except for the financial support that my ex provided. His father was always traveling with his work, and when he was home he was very aloof. He was not the type of kid who got in to trouble, but he was certainly defiant. Getting him to do chores of any kind was like telling a stubborn donkey to move. At the age of 9 he realized he was very smart and decided he didn't need to prove himself to anyone - so homework never got done and his teachers labeled him "unable to stay on task", and "underachiever". He started failing his classes and that began the struggle to get him through the next 9 years to graduation. IF I am ever afforded the opportunity to defend myself in the manner in which he was raised --- I will have a lot to say about how difficult he was, how defiant he was, how arrogant he was --- and how I did the very best I could with what I had to work with.
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Post by tomi1000 on Mon Jan 07, 2019 1:50 pm

Going to mom's didn't happen yesterday. We had planned to meet my sister at 3:00 at moms. But at 1:30 I was so sleepy I couldn't keep my eyes open. I laid down on the sofa and slept until 4:30. Hubby sent her a text to let her know we wouldn't be coming. That messed up my sleep last night. UGH.

the only thing on my calendar for the day is doing some desk work......... some bills and a start to the tax prep stuff.

My mind was spinning last night causing the lack of sleep........... taxes, mom, my son, my health, our future plans, the house remodel ideas, the cost of said remodel............. Even 2 doses of skullcap didn't calm down my thoughts. Hopefully tonight will be better.
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Post by tomi1000 on Mon Jan 07, 2019 9:35 pm

Got bills caught up for the shop - the home bills aren't due yet so I'll pay in the next couple days. I did a few things to get ready for taxes to go to the accountant. I have plenty more to do, but will work at a little at a time. It will be different this year cuz we will have a new CPA doing our returns. My cousin has done them for the past 15 years - and he knew our stuff and my silly notes all made sense to him. I'm a little nervous about starting with someone new.

Hubby's men's bible study starts up again tonight. They take off summers and 3 weeks around Christmas and New Years. So, the living room is filled with the laughter of lots of really great guys who enjoy being together and support each other and lift each other up. I'm so happy he has this group of men. He started going to this group when his first wife left him in 1998 - so that means 20 years of fellowship with this awesome group. Smile I would like to find something like this too. For some reason things get more complicated with women --- with personalities and emotions, its just harder to find a group of women who all mesh well and keep the drama at bay.

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Post by Pedidoc on Mon Jan 07, 2019 9:54 pm

I'd say the tribe does a great job of meshing together. We all have our strength and we use them to help each other.
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Post by tomi1000 on Mon Jan 07, 2019 10:03 pm

Pedidoc wrote:I'd say the tribe does a great job of meshing together.  We all have our strength and we use them to help each other.

Absolutely! I wish we could all gather in one room for a day! Smile

Check it out!

https://www.netflix.com/watch/80209464?trackId=15035895&tctx=3%2C0%2Cf9572324-f238-4446-8b28-f5557dbebf1e-505930201%2Ceff1ca01-421d-4904-8e60-da233636a415_62620179X54XX1546916439863%2Ceff1ca01-421d-4904-8e60-da233636a415_ROOT

https://www.netflix.com/watch/80209464?trackId=15035895&tctx=3%2C0%2Cf9572324-f238-4446-8b28-f5557dbebf1e-505930201%2Ceff1ca01-421d-4904-8e60-da233636a415_62620179X54XX1546916439863%2Ceff1ca01-421d-4904-8e60-da233636a415_ROOT

I hope that worked.
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