Tomi found her way!

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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by Pedidoc on Thu May 03, 2018 12:01 am

Good job and your "homework?"
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Thu May 03, 2018 9:50 pm

Thanks, Kathi Smile

I'm taking a by today. I'm just tired, and we had a stressful family meeting regarding MILs estate.

Have been increasing fat and am having no troubles. Smile
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Fri May 04, 2018 12:24 am

Okay, I'll do the affirmations - but I'm sliding on the bike today.

Affirmations:

1. I AM a beautiful woman inside and outside.
2. I am healing
3. I will see this through until my body is healthy and happy again
4. I am deeply blessed
5. I see myself swimming and kayaking at the lake and climbing up out of the marina like a champ!
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by The Walrus on Fri May 04, 2018 4:54 am

Great affirmations!
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by perennialpam on Fri May 04, 2018 6:14 am

Tomi -- go to Lovebird's site and listen to the recent link she provided about telling yourself you are good enough.  This is over an hour listen but I am sure you will get into it.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by Lovebird on Fri May 04, 2018 7:17 am

perennialpam wrote:Tomi -- go to Lovebird's site and listen to the recent link she provided about telling yourself you are good enough.  This is over an hour listen but I am sure you will get into it.

That link is only a little over 12 minutes... confused the Marisa Peer YT vid 42 min: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3NyUMLh7Y You must have mixed it up with The Magic Pill link, thanks for sharing though.

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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by Pedidoc on Fri May 04, 2018 8:28 am

Good job on the written affirmations. I hope you are telling yourself #1 out loud.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Fri May 04, 2018 12:16 pm

The Walrus wrote:Great affirmations!

Thank you, TW!

perennialpam wrote:Tomi -- go to Lovebird's site and listen to the recent link she provided about telling yourself you are good enough.  This is over an hour listen but I am sure you will get into it.

I will check it out. thanks! Smile

Lovebird wrote:That link is only a little over 12 minutes... confused the Marisa Peer YT vid 42 min: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3NyUMLh7Y You must have mixed it up with The Magic Pill link,  thanks for sharing though.

Oh, thats better! I have watched The Magic Pill twice all the way through and once 1/2 way through. I will be watching again I'm sure. I have also suggested several of my friends and family watch it. I made hubby sit through it with me............... I don't think he liked that, but he learned some stuff. Smile

Pedidoc wrote:Good job on the written affirmations.  I hope you are telling yourself #1 out loud.

Thats a little harder -- saying it out loud is much more powerful! Yes - I will work on that part.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Fri May 04, 2018 1:03 pm

Watched the vid. Marissa Peer. I love her approach - simple, but powerful. I'm going to work on this concept.

I AM ENOUGH!
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Fri May 04, 2018 6:33 pm

Affirmations:

1. I am beautiful woman inside and outside!
2. I am healing!
3. I AM ENOUGH!!
4. I am strong!
5. I will keep fighting to reach my goals!

Bike - 20 minutes. (woohoo!)

Thoughts on the Peer video........... As I was watching the video I was thinking - wow, its just so simple. And I said in my head, "I am enough". It felt okay, good-ish, but not totally real. Like a really awesome concept, but really far away from my own thinking.

Then - I did my affirmations and as I was typing them, I was saying them out loud. And when I got to I AM ENOUGH --- the words choked my throat, and tears welled up in my eyes. I got a flashback to me, 37 years ago saying, "I guess I just wasn't enough for him". That was my mantra for 20 years after hubby left me and our lives went different ways. Twenty years I drilled those words into my psyche and into my heart. Even after we got married it took me nearly 10 years to let go of the pain from the past and live in the now. I WAS ENOUGH - he just didn't realize it until it was too late and I was already married to someone else. Its a good thing he never told me all those years ago, because I would have left my first husband in a heart beat to be back with him. Life played out......... both our marriages failed and we were brought together again. I AM ENOUGH!

Powerful stuff..........
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by Lovebird on Sat May 05, 2018 6:33 am

tomi1000 wrote:Affirmations:

1.  I am beautiful woman inside and outside!
2.  I am healing!
3.  I AM ENOUGH!!
4.  I am strong!
5.  I will keep fighting to reach my goals!

Bike - 20 minutes.  (woohoo!)

You sound so positive and vibrant. Love it! It's great that the "I am enough" message works so well for you!

Hopefully it will guide you to eat nutrient dense foods to feed your body well, instead of changing things up again. Trust your body and listen to it. Show your love by treating it accordingly. *hugs* You're worth it!

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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Sat May 05, 2018 12:46 pm

Thank you, Lovebird! The message really did impact me in a very deep way. I even talked about it with hubby last night.

I am eating really well now - the idea of eating very low carb, high fat for my overall health and well being is helping me stay focused and on track. My fat calories are very high - I eat bacon and put butter on everything! I have noticed less bloat so it must be doing something good. I have no plans to change anything. I checked my fasting blood glucose a few days ago and it was 89, this morning it was 83! That made me very happy, and confirmed that low carb is right for me. IF I am teetering on pre-diabetes then this is the right way to eat. A month ago it was 97. I know thats not crazy high - but after working in a diabetes clinic for 17 years and seeing the effects of the disease, I don't want to go there! Two of my sisters have it.

Since stopping the probiotics my bowels have settled down again. Still not where I would like, but certainly better. I'm not going to add or subtract anything for a very long time.

My energy stores are increasing, but they also deplete rather quickly. But still, it is an improvement. I see NP on the 17th and am looking forward to starting on Valtrex daily. Fingers crossed that I will see a nice boost to my energy.





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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Sat May 05, 2018 5:02 pm

I forgot to mention to you guys...... Natashaskitchen.com has some amazing recipes! Not all are paleo/primal but lots are or can easily be adjusted.

Check out the Avocado Chicken Salad! substitute cucumber or grapes cut in 1/2 for the corn. And adding a hard boiled egg makes it even yummier! You need to use avocados that are not over ripe so they keep their chunky shape. If she were to make a paleo/primal cookbook I would buy it.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Sat May 05, 2018 9:53 pm

Affirmations:

1. I am a beautiful woman inside and outside!
2. I am ENOUGH!
3. I am healing!
4. I will be fit, healthy and happy very soon!
5. I am blessed!

No bike today - but I did work outside. I mowed part of the yard - maybe 1/4. I pooped out and hubby had to step in a finish.

Food - excellent. Ground turkey, bacon, butter and chicken broth for lunch. Salmon, sweet potato, butter, and Avocado Chicken Salad for dinner.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by Lovebird on Sun May 06, 2018 12:11 am

tomi1000 wrote:Check out the Avocado Chicken Salad!  substitute cucumber or grapes cut in 1/2 for the corn.  And adding a hard boiled egg makes it even yummier!

https://natashaskitchen.com/avocado-chicken-salad-recipe/

Am I the only one that remembers you mentioned this one in March?  confused (like with the hair pic that you posted twice in this journal, months inbetween  Smile ) Great recipe btw but what about the hardboiled eggs that gave you a tummy ache earlier and/or the avocado + oil being too much fat for you to handle? Not to mention that grapes are not a good substitute when keto/low carb and avocado having a lot of fiber... not that there is anything wrong with that, unless you have a sensitive tummy.

If you have no issues with it anymore all the better.

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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by katierose on Sun May 06, 2018 9:11 am

That's funny Tomi, I was just raving about Natasha's kitchen to my friend last night. I made her chicken tefteli (meatballs). Like you said, not exactly primal but you could do a lot worse.

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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by Narrowminded on Sun May 06, 2018 10:45 am

Tomi you sound positively amazing! I am so thrilled for you! Keep up the good work.

Are you still using the Amazon sleep music?

Sounds like things are definitely coming together.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Sun May 06, 2018 1:53 pm

Lovebird wrote:
tomi1000 wrote:Check out the Avocado Chicken Salad!  substitute cucumber or grapes cut in 1/2 for the corn.  And adding a hard boiled egg makes it even yummier!

https://natashaskitchen.com/avocado-chicken-salad-recipe/

Am I the only one that remembers you mentioned this one in March?  confused (like with the hair pic that you posted twice in this journal, months inbetween  Smile ) Great recipe btw but what about the hardboiled eggs that gave you a tummy ache earlier and/or the avocado + oil being too much fat for you to handle? Not to mention that grapes are not a good substitute when keto/low carb and avocado having a lot of fiber... not that there is anything wrong with that, unless you have a sensitive tummy.

If you have no issues with it anymore all the better.

Yes, I probably did mention this recipe earlier in my journal when I first found and made it Smile Its that good - worth mentioning again. I offer the substitution idea for those not wanting to eat corn. I made the recipe for our family lunch on Thursday, and I put in grapes. I personally pick around them, eating only a couple. I made it the first time with the eggs (as the photo shows on her website) and that was before I realized eggs were bothersome to my gut. I don't add them anymore.

As for the fat - as I have said over the passed few weeks I have been trying to increase my fat intake, and making sure to use the digestive enzymes when I do. I don't seem to be having the gut issues that I used to from eating high fat. I don't know if having candida can effect fat absorption - but maybe it has something to do with my 4 month treatment with Fluconazole. What ever the reason - I am now eating a significant amount of fat and not having the old problems.

I didn't realize I posted my hair pics twice. Thats embarrassing. I'm going to have go back and search that out.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Sun May 06, 2018 2:07 pm

Lovebird - I did post the same picture twice. First in Dec. and again a couple months later. Embarassed Sorry about that. I will see if I can delete one.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Sun May 06, 2018 2:10 pm

there - I deleted the second posting.

I also want to mention that since I stopped eating eggs I have found that I can eat them on a very rare basis and don't seem to have any trouble.  I think I've had them maybe 2 or 3 and don't get any tummy troubles.  Not that I know of anyway.  No pain or bathroom issues.

I do feel that my gut is healing.  Be it a true healing or just the changes I've made in supplements, enzymes and food choices.  Things are better anyway.  I wish I could say the same on the energy stores.  I'm still taking mega doses of vitamins and I certainly eat healthy, but I feel so weak and drained all the time.  So anxious to see the NP and try the Valtrex.  I'm taking only what NP has advised and prescribed.  Cutting the probiotics seemed to make a big difference.  

Hubby wants to go to a nursery today and buy the baskets for our pergola.  I really don't feel up to it, but I'm going to do it.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Sun May 06, 2018 2:22 pm

Yes - still using the Sleep Music on Amazon Music. It seems to be working. I also take multiple sleep aids.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by Lovebird on Sun May 06, 2018 2:44 pm

There was no need to delete either of those pics as your hair is lovely and the pic shows it well. Guess I shouldn't have mentioned it, just wanted to show that I remember things (regardless of importance), that's all. Sorry for the confusion Tomi, didn't mean to. And I understand that one can be enthousiastic about things and wants to share. Smile

It's great that you are no longer having as much issues with food items. Hope the fatigue will leave soon too, as your healing continues. I love how you're journaling about personal things (good and bad) as it shows your progress (mentally as well as physically). Babysteps. You'll get there.

Did you see this one from Marisa https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1r5HHuW_Vc ?

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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Sun May 06, 2018 4:21 pm

I think my mindset during that time period had a lot to do with the posts. I've been feeling hugely bad about myself since I quit my job in October. It was the right choice - but it was a choice that I made based on my physical frailty. Here's the thing: I have fought my physical troubles (fibro and nasty digestive issues) for 17 years. I've pushed through the pain and the fatigue and the bathroom troubles because I never wanted to "give in" or "give up". But in October, I reached a point where I had no choice. So, my determination to not let these things beat me, was lost. I was feeling extremely bad about myself, both physically and mentally. I've always loved my hair (always thought it was my best asset). When I had to cut it off due to shoulder surgery and the inability to maintain it - it sorta hurt!! I cut it very short! and I don't like how I look in short hair. So when I was able to grow it back out - I was thrilled! And by December of 17 - I was feeling pretty good about it. Thats about the only thing I was feeling good about as I had gained way too much weight, was barely able to leave the house and could barely keep up with the housework. So - celebrate what you can, right? Smile

I'm still feeling pretty lousy about most everything. I'm trying to stay positive, but its very hard.

I have found that youtube vid and will watch tomorrow. Smile
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by tomi1000 on Mon May 07, 2018 3:59 am

okay --- I tried upping the fat and lowering the carb for the sake of not re-introducing candida.  Result?  Utter exhaustion.  

VLC is absolutely NOT for me at this point in my journey.  

I know this looks like I did something radical - but I only did what a lot of you suggested many months ago when I started the Fluconazole.................. EAT LOW CARB.  I've been cutting my carbs - not sure what the number is cuz I haven't been tracking - but I have severally reduced carbs.  Result............ a total CRASH!!  Today I was so weak and fatigued that I could not function.  We were supposed to go buy baskets for the back yard and I just couldn't. I had NO energy to even get dressed after my shower. Seriously!  After I took a shower and half dried my hair, I was so fatigued that all I could manage was to lay on the bed and try to get my heart beat to slow down and just lay there and hope I wasn't dying!  I was weak and shaking.   I drank a can of Cream Soda, regular - full sugar version! - and then had a dinner of a Bacon Cheese Burger on a wheat bun, with a side of Tator Tots with Ketchup.  I felt AMAZINGLY better afterwards.  Energy was back to normal - brain function was clear.  

This tells me - VLC will NOT work for me.

I will have to explore and discover what level will work for me.  Also - Higher fat seemed to work for a few days - but today that fell apart.  I had a healthy BM in the morning, and by later in the afternoon - nothing but liquid.  Painful gas and stomach pain - followed by watery stool passing.   Five times within an hour. This needs to stop.

Basically............... I'm back to not knowing what to do.  When I was eating higher carb (basically not paying attention to carbs, except to NOT eating simple carbs) I was gaining weight at a steady rate, but my energy was increasing.  I know I was gaining by girth of my belly and overall feeling of bulk and being uncomfortable by the bloat in my belly.

I'm going to just eat and not think about anything until I talk to NP on the 17th.  I'm just about to say to hell with it all.  My efforts to eat healthy do nothing.  No matter what I try --- I still have loose bowels and bloat and weight gain.  I'm so done with this.  This may be my last journal entry.  If so --- thank you to all who have tried to help with advice and support.  It could be that my body is just too damn broken.
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Re: Tomi found her way!

Post by Lovebird on Mon May 07, 2018 4:44 am



Your body is healing Tomi. (((HUGS))) Trust it with all your heart and listen. Take a break from internet/ information overload and truly listen to what it is telling you. Go back to basics. Be it an elimination diet or GAPS/FODMAP or your candida diet and stick to it. Keep a journal and write down everything. At some point you'll notice a pattern. Nobody ever said it would be easy. Find your own sweet spot of carb quantity.

You can do this.

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