Every day remains a wandering road

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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by marcadav on Fri May 25, 2018 11:15 pm

Greensprout, I want to thank you for being so open and honest with your struggles. While nothing compares to your experiences, your willingness to share is helping me help a family member who is dealing with a sudden and intense bout of anxiety and depression.

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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Pedidoc on Sat May 26, 2018 7:12 pm

I am glad the meeting went well, even though it was emotional for you and that DH was supportive. I continue to think of you daily and hope that the plan set forth will lead you to feeling better in the near future.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Greensprout on Sun May 27, 2018 9:42 pm

Met for coffee with my Capt today, she’s posted away (to a position we really need her in) and leaves on Sat.  Was a bit crazy, as she had her 3 year old son and her 15 month old daughter with us at Starbucks.  She has been such an awesome person to work with the last 3 years, says she’s learned a lot from me and my leadership Shocked. I’m flattered. Told her to carry to carry that on to her next position and use what she’s learned to guide the junior members. Gave her a token of appreciation, which I found a while ago at a home show. Little Box of Rocks (LBOR). Seems silly, but I chose the “Karma”one, as its about gratitude and passing the feeling on. She seemed happy with the gift. She asked about how I’m doing...got a bit emotional at that, needed a tissue and a few minutes to regroup.

I see my GP tomorrow, will see what’s up regarding either time off or gradual return to work program (which may not necessarily involve going back to my office). I know I’m not ready to do that. From the case conference, the docs seemed to think not before Aug, though there are things that perhaps I can do in the meantime to not isolate myself in comfortable cave at home.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Narrowminded on Sun May 27, 2018 11:29 pm

Sounds like a decent day for you. So glad yo could meet with your Capt before she moved on. I know she’s been a huge help to you.

I think your idea of doing some work form home is good. I’d just watch for signs of it being overwhelming. If it’s not, it could be good therapy.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Rig D on Mon May 28, 2018 8:33 am

Agree, easing back into a work cycle sounds most appropriate. If it can be done on a gradual basis starting at home, so much the better
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Pedidoc on Mon May 28, 2018 10:14 am

Good job on getting out and seeing your Capt. Easing back into work would be ideal. You sound much better.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Greensprout on Mon May 28, 2018 8:41 pm

Honestly, though it may sound that way, I don’t feel much better.  Started a new med on Thurs to deal with the disturbing dreams/nightmares.  The first 2 nights I used it, I had worse nightmares than in a long time, hubby said I yelled out on my sleep the first night, and I woke myself yelling the second.  No nightmares last 2 nights, vivid dreams, not too disturbing, but odd.  Since starting this med (Prazocin), I’ve woken each morning very off, actually physically trembling.  Told my GP about this today.

For now, another 2 weeks sick leave while we work on increasing and decreasing various meds.  Could extend to a month if needed.  See doc in 2 weeks.  Gradual return to work may mean (in between all my medical related appts) one hour a day doing supervised and directed exercise at the base gym for a while.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Pedidoc on Mon May 28, 2018 8:47 pm

I am sorry that you are having nasty side effects from the Prazocin. You do sound more "up" than before. I hope the titrating goes well and you hit the right combo soon.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Greensprout on Mon May 28, 2018 9:10 pm

I’m supposed to increase to 2 mg after a week, and then 3 mg after that (starting with 1 mg). Can always back off if needed.

I enjoyed the visit with my Capt yesterday, though when she asked honestly how I was doing, I got a bit emotional and tears for a bit. In Starbucks, oh yay. Baby steps.

Boss is having a farewell thing at his place Friday for Capt and her husband (also a military guy who boss knows), will try to attend, but will have to see how it’s going for me. I should, but if in a crappy mindset, would not be a good idea.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Greensprout on Mon May 28, 2018 9:29 pm

And I did try to convince doc to remove my splint for the wrist fracture today...no go. We compromised on Thurs as I have other appts in the clinic that afternoon rather than Friday, which would be the official 4 weeks. Bah. At least there’s and end in sight. Getting weary of wrapping a bag around my arm to shower!!
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by perennialpam on Tue May 29, 2018 7:14 am

Hoping you get to take that splint off soon. Cannot imagine in the heat.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Greensprout on Tue May 29, 2018 6:07 pm

Slept long last night (10 hrs or so), again, vivid weird dreams but not sending me into panic mode. Getting up, I felt less shaky than the last few days. Perhaps my body is adjusting to the new med. will aim for increasing the dose on Thurs, after a week on.

Hubby took day off today, and was encouraging me to go for a walk, despite being hot and humid. I did need a few bits for tomorrow’s meal that I couldn’t get on last grocery order, so walked to Walmart and back, covered about 2 miles. This is good.

Psychologist appt tomorrow. Team meeting agreed more frequent therapy sessions Coulson be helpful, whether with civilian psychologist, or supplemented by the MH team on base (mostly social worker led). More to follow.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Narrowminded on Tue May 29, 2018 7:39 pm

Good luck getting the new med regulated. Vivid dreams are not fun.

Happy to hear you got out for a nice walk. I find walking very therapeutic in my stressful situation.

Good news on the splint to, just 2 more days.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Greensprout on Wed May 30, 2018 10:53 pm

Heavy session with psychologist today. Perhaps I should avoid wearing lower lash line mascara for those appts. Making slow progress. Caught in a torrential rainfall on my drive home, which also coincided with rush hour...not much fun.

Aiming focus back to self care, which I’ve lost sight of for a bit. Working on back to regular sleep schedule (not staying up late) and even if I sleep long. It wont be stupid late like getting up at 11am. And a small walk daily. Baby steps.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Narrowminded on Wed May 30, 2018 10:54 pm

Hugs
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Greensprout on Wed May 30, 2018 11:12 pm

Thanks, NM. At least the splint/cast comes off tomorrow, hopefully the post removal X-ray will be positive.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by perennialpam on Thu May 31, 2018 5:52 am

I like hearing the self care coming around again. I agree with the early to bed idea.

I have been doing this for a while now and I do get in 7 to 8 hours of sleep vs. getting only 4-5. Makes me wonder if the opposite could help you...going to bed early and awakening earlier too.

Whatever works for you I support whole heartedly.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Pedidoc on Thu May 31, 2018 9:22 am

Greensprout wrote:

Aiming focus back to self care, which I’ve lost sight of for a bit.  Working on back to regular sleep schedule (not staying up late) and even if I sleep long. It wont be stupid late like getting up at 11am.  And a small walk daily.  Baby steps.

Pretty sure this is what we have been telling you all along. It is the whole how do you eat an elephant thing - one bite at a time. Keep moving forward with baby steps and one day you will realize you have arrived.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Greensprout on Thu May 31, 2018 10:05 pm

Ok, was in bed before 11 last night, though still slow to get up.  

Wrist splint/cast is off, now in removable brace until we hear from radiologist report, or perhaps for two weeks, bit you can but you can bet it will be off for face wash and shower...  then physio to follow.

Actually feeling a tad better this morning.  Hope it lasts.

Also received my oral anti snore appliance today.  Will see how that goes.  Have a follow up appt in 2 weeks.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Narrowminded on Thu May 31, 2018 11:18 pm

Awesome report. Sounds like a good day
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by tomi1000 on Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:34 pm

Good to hear you got a good nights sleep Smile Hope the appliance helps! and Yeah on the cast removal!
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Greensprout on Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:29 pm

Well, I actually forgot to put in the new oral appliance last night...oops. To bed around 1130 and crawled out around 10. OSI clinic chronic pain group this afternoon. They may have some other programs that could be of benefit after this one is done in 2 weeks. Was so nice to shower today WITHOUT a trash bag on my hand. Didn’t hear back re radiologist report of yesterdays X-ray (seems to be some healing, but not fully). Doc had suggested I wear the original removable brace for another 2 weeks before starting physio. I have decided it’s ok to take off for showers, face washing, and if sitting quietly doing nothing physical. Feels good to do that.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Meant2Move on Fri Jun 01, 2018 8:14 pm

You won't overdue and injure your arm, I'm sure. For what it's worth, I sleep better with my mouth appliance. Granted mine was to stop grinding rather than snoring, although it has that effect as well.

Sure hope you continue to feel a bit better most days.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by The Walrus on Fri Jun 01, 2018 10:42 pm

I have been encouraged by my OT to do just as you say - it’s okay to take it off for hygiene and any time it doesn’t especially need protection, such as watching TV or reading.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

Post by Lovebird on Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:37 am

Great report. Good sleep and removable cast. Silver lining. Hugs.
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Re: Every day remains a wandering road

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