Perennially Yours

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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Narrowminded on Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:37 am

Pam I do think you deserve a day to play. Lots of work done over the weekend.

Enjoy the paths you can, while you can.

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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by perennialpam on Tue Apr 24, 2018 7:17 am

Thank you NM.

Decided to go back to mom's yesterday. There were some things left undone. I thought I'd put up some of her pictures. Purchased some no wall damage hangers but they did not seem strong enough for the majority of her pictures.

I spoke last week about mom cleaning out stuff. I am concerned.

She told me yesterday that she sent birthday cards to 3 people. Their birthdays are not until mid-May and one she sent isn't until June. Her calendar had the dates and persons listed as usual. I do not know why she told me about sending them out but she did and, like I said above, it concerns me.

I think these moves have confused her in some way even though the furniture was placed exactly in each apartment.

Washed her tablecloth and took back the repotted plant that whose container was broken. Then, it fell over in my vehicle making a mess. It is back at my house today.

Took her to the grocery store and we could not find an electric cart. She ended up having to walk leaning on the cart. That was hard on her.

We, both of us, need to get our head around the fact that she agreed not to cook. I have her pans. when I finally found her in the grocery store (we were separated right from the start) I helped with the check out. Then when I got her home putting away the corn stalks....it came to me, she was not going to cook. I helped check her out and it did not occur to me until then. Good grief. Guess who got the corn?

Had trouble sleeping last night due to the vibe I get from mom yesterday.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Annieh on Tue Apr 24, 2018 7:47 am

Oh Pam, you are doing the best you can it she is lucky to have your help. I hope you like corn Smile I also hope you get a better sleep tonight.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Narrowminded on Tue Apr 24, 2018 8:02 am

Pam, huge hugs. It’s so hard when it’s our parents. We try so hard to help keep them independent, while at the same time dealing with our concerns over their safety.

I can’t remember if we discussed Meals on Wheels? Would something like that work for your Mom since she isn’t cooking?

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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by tomi1000 on Tue Apr 24, 2018 4:12 pm

this time of life is difficult - parents turn into children and we have to take over the role of parent for them. Its hard and scary trying to figure out just what is right and best for them. My mom doesn't really cook anymore, but she does re-heat the casseroles we give her on the stove. I thought she was microwaving them, but apparently she thinks the microwave is only for heating up water for tea. Whatever. So far she has not forgotten to turn off the burner - can't the same for myself.

I hope you get it all sorted out so you can rest easy.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by perennialpam on Tue Apr 24, 2018 6:16 pm

Annie, NM and Tomi -- it is so nice of you to make me feel that I am doing the best I can.  What would she do without me?  My children could not handle this me thinks.  

~~Took the DGDog on a walk and with me on errands. She seems to like to be with someone, anyone!  I like having her along.  

The state park worked out okay even though there are more and more people there.  It was 57F today and no one was outside enjoying the bird noises or weather or a campfire!  I keep my house at 60F.  It's simply like being home when I walk her in this weather.  

~~Had meant to grocery shop for myself yesterday following my plans for mom.  Was emotionally (?) exhausted following the time we spent together.  She yelled at me to look at her when she was speaking.  Sounds like the mother / daughter to me.  I was opening the night lights I bought to replace the ones I had already purchased that turn on automatically.  She does not like the auto ones.  

I need to get back to grocery shopping (smartly) and fixing food.  It is so much healthier.  And if I do not have it around I will not be able to eat it.  With all the running around I do it is difficult to purchase smartly around the social schedule I try to keep.  I do not like throwing food away.  

~~A local woman is holding a blood drive tomorrow and I am thinking it would be good to donate once again and could definitely do that shopping I need to do.  All in mom's town.  

~~I also got a chance to volunteer for The Moth next Tuesday; theme Hair.  I should try to compose a speech.  I need to learn to stretch my life into stories.  Then....get the courage to tell them.  I don't want to make the audience think:  how does that relate to the theme?  I hear that comment a lot when in the audience.  

~~I need a new dryer exhaust thing that goes on the outside of the house.  I just remembered.  I went to clean off the lint I noticed on it the other day and the plastic just broke apart in my hand.  

~~Got to get a list going of things I need.  Sometimes I remember; most times I do not.

~~My golden trillium are poking through the ground. The while trillium have not started yet. That means my bloodroot is not far behind. I had already seen skunk cabbage a couple of weeks back. I love spring. the most.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by perennialpam on Tue Apr 24, 2018 6:22 pm

I forgot to gloat: Rachel, the Osprey, laid her egg today! They have been romancing for 12 days. Watching the male/female prepare the nest and copulate (a lot). Even papa, Steve, has taken his turn sitting on the egg. His main job is to provide fish to mom and babies once they arrive. And, believe me, that keeps him very busy.

https://explore.org/livecams/ospreys/osprey-nest It is so nice to hear the waves hit the shore and the osprey talking. Check it out if you dare.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Meant2Move on Tue Apr 24, 2018 8:03 pm

With your busy life I can imagine that it is hard to manage food. Perhaps if you prep it when you get it home and then freeze in single use portions? I know that doesn't really help with fresh, but at least it would with main meals.

You do very well by your mom. I am sure it is hard that she doesn't always appreciate your efforts. Just keep taking those walks!
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Narrowminded on Wed Apr 25, 2018 8:37 am

I’ll have to check out the Osprey.

I second M2M on cook and freeze. It really does make a difference. I need to do that again myself.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by perennialpam on Thu Apr 26, 2018 8:17 am

All good advice.  The main problem is the vegetables and fruits.  I have not even tried organic yet and those items seem to decompose even faster.  

The local grocery is very expensive and I do not like their freshness and is mainly why I shop further away when in town for mom duty.  However, these last few months I am exhausted (emotionally) to not shop while in town.  Orchestrating this life is difficult if I want to stay social and happy.  

Today will probably rake again.  I wish I had replaced all the deciduous trees with white pines.  Impossible but true.  Then having only one species isn't a good idea either in case of a bug or blight problem.  

Looking out my kitchen window at my back yard is such a delight especially in spring.  It feels like I can see the perennials growing.  So lucky to have over an acre of land.  

That reminds me, I need to charge the boat battery and the lawn mower.  Must do that before I get busy on something.  

I am happy that I will be able to work The Moth.  I was worried that they did not need me any longer.  The crew is hard to get into a conversation with as my duty keeps me in front of the room.  And they do not seem very inviting even after all this time.  I try but being introverted gets me sometimes.  So hard to find a "common" ground due to age differences, life style differences, etc.  I honestly believe if I ever get my butt up there telling a story the isolation I feel may change.  

DGDog walk again today with running some errands.  Need to recycle and donate some items.  Am holding onto mom's pots/pans until I am positive she has decided not to cook.  Learning to lean on the microwave is probably difficult for her.  I am considering moving it to near the kitchen counter and trying that out.  Less far to move a cup of soup without dripping it all over.  Just a thought.

Tomorrow I volunteered for the Conservation District's tree disbursal. I used to buy those trees, now I help sort and hand them out.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Lovebird on Thu Apr 26, 2018 8:37 am

perennialpam wrote:All good advice.  The main problem is the vegetables and fruits.  I have not even tried organic yet and those items seem to decompose even faster.  

The local grocery is very expensive and I do not like their freshness and is mainly why I shop further away when in town for mom duty.  However, these last few months I am exhausted (emotionally) to not shop while in town.  Orchestrating this life is difficult if I want to stay social and happy.  

Just a reminder of something you're probably already aware of (I do prefer fresh like you do and can't afford all organic anyways; just do the best you can and don't feel guilty about it, your activity level is just as important):

2018 Dirty Dozen

Strawberries
Spinach
Nectarines
Apples
Grapes
Peaches
Cherries
Pears
Tomatoes
Celery
Potatoes
Sweet bell peppers

2018 Clean Fifteen

Avocados
Sweet corn
Pineapples
Cabbage
Onions
Frozen sweet peas
Papayas
Asparagus
Mangoes
Eggplant
Honeydew melon
Kiwi
Cantaloupe
Cauliflower
Broccoli

And yes to telling a story at the Moth. You're good at writing them, get up there and share. Wink

You're the best daughter your mom (or any mom) could ask for, remember that when times are tough. HUGS

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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by perennialpam on Thu Apr 26, 2018 2:49 pm

Of course I knew about these lists. I must have put them somewhere else than in my memory. Almost each item on the Dirty Dozen happen to be my favorite. Sadness.

Thanks for the cheerleading LB.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Narrowminded on Thu Apr 26, 2018 6:37 pm

Pam I too am introverted in a crowd. I hate the feeling of being in a large group yet feeling totally alone. I’ve had that happen a few places, and you’re right, some has to do with where we are in life compared to the others.

I second LB on you sharing, you are a very good writer/communicator
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Meant2Move on Thu Apr 26, 2018 7:57 pm

Chances are you would only buy a few of the items on the dirty dozen list so perhaps put a copy of the list in your wallet and go ahead and buy organic for those. In the bigger chain stores, the cost of organic is not that much higher anymore.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by perennialpam on Sat Apr 28, 2018 7:09 am

Wow, I am still exhausted from the activity of moving to the different tree/shrub locations to fill orders for the Conservation District yesterday. About 2 p.m. I remembered that I had started dinner in the Instant Pot prior to leaving. I could have refrigerated before I left. I was worried but it turned out just fine.

Today is Hiker Breakfast and mom duty. It is also graduation from UM and the city may be very hectic. We shall see.

Spring is finally here and the weather has been gorgeous.

Have been invited to The Hideaway for the 2nd spring time this year and helping to open up the house for the tourist season. I am excited about that.

Today I will see if I can dig in the iris that I pulled last fall. They may not bloom this year but the lifting of them out of the rubble of years of falling leaves, etc. is well past due. they like to sit on top of the soil.

Perhaps a tad more raking if there is time. Goodness I left too much last year.

The boat and lawn motor batteries are charged. I have a hankering to get the boat in the water Sunday. I suppose my guy may be very busy already but it never hurts to give him a call.

Have a good weekend all.



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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Pedidoc on Sat Apr 28, 2018 9:51 am

Sounds like you had a very busy day. Hope your weekend goes well.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by perennialpam on Sun Apr 29, 2018 4:22 pm

Sad I have no orange buttons to go directly to the new messages.

Lovebird, Rig D, Ontario -- help please.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Lovebird on Mon Apr 30, 2018 5:11 am

perennialpam wrote:Sad  I have no orange buttons to go directly to the new messages.

My guess, based on MDA, is that you're logged in constantly? The orange icons/unread posts here do not work like at MDA where they stay available until you actually read them/mark them read... they disappear after a certain period (of inactivity)... and only show after you log in (not sure how long, as I usually read everything interesting/marked new and then reply to whatever I have time for.

Hope that helps.

Getting a notification of new reply (which only shows up in your e-mail for the 1st new post in a thread), might be helpful as it contains a link to that post if I remember correctly (bottom of page: 'watch this topic for replies) and you could read from there on... once read you'll get a notification again when there's a new reply.

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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by perennialpam on Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:00 am

LB -- thank you. I guess I just needed to log in again.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Rig D on Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:45 am

PP: Here is a sample of what you should be seeing, I click on the red circled link to get the lower page to display. FWIW, on days when I'm on all day, I see lots of stuff early in the AM, I view those, then usually see nothing much later.  As LB says, after a while things time out and I'll get a no results page return. However, I still do see the orange marker by the thread names if someone posts something new.  Hope this helps

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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by perennialpam on Mon Apr 30, 2018 9:59 am

Thank you Rig.  I guess I just needed to login again.  

~~Well, got my feelings hurt yesterday afternoon by my AZ friends.  They were laughing about the cost for mom's apartment and saying that all the money may be gone.  They are always on speaker phone---which I hate as I'd simply like to have a conversation with my friend --- not her with her husband inflicting his ideas too.  

Then, as I was saying I didn't think that was funny, he said:  Something about its' about time for her to die.  I said I could not talk any more and hung up.  

This stayed with me and I could not get to sleep last evening.  I was up until 3.  

No advice here, please.  Just telling you how I am feeling.  I am more angry than anything.  And I realized how fragile I am in regard to this mom thing knowing that I have not even faced a worst case scenario.  Yes, things have been difficult and drawn out but I would never wish death upon my mom.  

Of course I wish for a "sorry" but have a feeling that will not come.  

~~Cleaned inside yesterday vs. much work outside.  Did feed the chickens and dug out the ashes from the burn pile.  Spread some of them around trees.  Still have a wheel barrow full.  Son suggested putting some in the compost bins and over the leaves I have spread behind the bins.  Still more to do something with.  

~~Happily noticed those leaves pushing through the dirt were NOT hostas but my beloved Bloodroot!  They are blooming too.  Need to get my butt over to The Pines where I'll find an entire area filled with them to be followed in Mid-May by Trillium.  Today is the day for sure.  
Also noticed that my Redbud trees' limbs are covered with the buds of to-come flowers. I had been saying that all the seeds they have were making me think that they did not like the winter we just went through. Glad I am wrong.

~~Need to clean out the vehicle again.  The Christmas Cactus fell over when I thought I was taking it back to mom.  She had originally said she did not want it any longer.  I never asked why and will gladly give it to her but it is a nice, happy, one.  Happy even though it went through the "fire".  I never thought to wash its' leaves and it survived.  

~~Still have not finished the letter to the upper management about mom's apartment and the charges.  I fuss over what I say trying to make it perfect and draw on their empathy.  If they have any.  

Over and out.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by katierose on Mon Apr 30, 2018 11:39 am

I'm sorry Pam, that was an incredibly insensitive for him to say. That would have kept me up, too.

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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Pedidoc on Mon Apr 30, 2018 3:47 pm

Extremely rude and I would have hung up too.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by tomi1000 on Mon Apr 30, 2018 4:41 pm

wow........... I would have hung up also. I'm so sorry. Thats just not an appropriate thing to say.
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Re: Perennially Yours

Post by Narrowminded on Mon Apr 30, 2018 6:14 pm

I agree that was rude and uncalled for. I too would have lost sleep.

Happy to hear the yard is showing signs of life! So exciting to see those first buds.
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