Making a Change Stick

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Making a Change Stick Empty Making a Change Stick

Post by ShelleyM on Thu Feb 07, 2019 7:45 pm

I have struggled with healthy living, well, all my life. It is getting serious now because I am getting older. I had dabbled with Primal before and experienced successful weight loss. The trick is not to be satisfied with weight loss but to recognize it needs to be a lasting and ongoing change. I know when I adhere to the Primal lifestyle, I am at my best. Why I can't, or won't, stick with it is a question for more in-depth deliberation. I am determined to make a significant lifestyle change to enjoy this time in my life. I want more. I want to feel good about myself. I want to not be on a host of medicines some doctor feels necessary. Health and energy are goals I aspire to attain, and excellent quality of life is what I am after.
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Post by Meant2Move on Thu Feb 07, 2019 7:56 pm

Hey Shelley,
Those sound like very worthwhile and attainable goals. I hear ya on the "stick to it" question. I know what to do, but...  

I look forward to learning more about you. Heck, we are practically neighbors (I'm in AZ) and are nearly the same age. I love walking too. 

Welcome!
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Post by ShelleyM on Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:00 pm

Thanks for the welcome! I lived in the Phoenix area for about 11 years prior to moving to SoCal and then to NM. I seriously don't know what I would do if someone told me I had to live in the serious cold!
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Post by Meant2Move on Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:03 pm

I live in Flagstaff - low tonight is single digits. Actually, I mostly don't mind the cold, although like anyone, I whine now and then.
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Post by RedComet on Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:12 pm

ShelleyM wrote:recognize it needs to be a lasting and ongoing change.

It's the same for me, as well. Sporadic successes are always encouraging, but sustained success is the ultimate goal. Rooting for you!
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Post by ShelleyM on Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:16 pm

We can all get there together! I have noticed that whatever I am doing and eating and being, my husband follows along, so I can kill two birds with one stone. I am grateful or that support as well.
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Post by Pedidoc on Fri Feb 08, 2019 1:12 am

Welcome to journaling, Shelley.
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Post by perennialpam on Fri Feb 08, 2019 4:06 am

Hi Shelley. I am also going for reintroduction of the Primal way. I have been journaling here since its' inception and, mostly, follow primal but do have a problem with sticking with it. I feel strong this time and am banking on sticking with it for life. I had a very successful intro about 10 years back but failed at sticking with it.

Looking forward to your journey.
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Post by Rig D on Fri Feb 08, 2019 6:09 am

Glad to see you on board with us, Shelley. I'm a fellow warm weather enthusiast (born, raised in the deep Southeast.) I'm in Ohio now, and had a miserably cold 3 years near Deeetroit. Adaptation to cold weather isn't easy if your blood is truly "thin", it took me nearly 2 years in Meeshugun not to be wearing sweaters during summer nights, and I never owned heavy enough clothes for real winter. And I never adopted to the "4 seasons" of Spring, Fall, Winter, Ridiculous.
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Post by ShelleyM on Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:10 am

Immediate Tasks
Determine and develop a plan for what I want to do for income after February 28.
Recognized I am probably stressed even if I don't feel stressed. (What does stress look like for me?)
Move more every day.
Reach out to my family more frequently. (What is that going to look like?)
Spend time outside every day.
What is the reason I don't sleep well? Or do I think I don't sleep well?
Continue logging food to encourage thought before eating, but ignore numbers!



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Post by Vh67 on Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:14 am

Those seem like good tasks to get things on track!
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Post by Annieh on Sat Feb 09, 2019 1:01 am

Hi Shelley, that's quite a stressful looking list in itself. You do have a lot on your plate.

I really like that you have committed to getting outside and moving around every day. Both those are within your control to make happen and will certainly bring you tangible benefits. Grok on.
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Post by ShelleyM on Sat Feb 09, 2019 8:57 pm

ShelleyM wrote:Immediate Tasks
Determine and develop a plan for what I want to do for income after February 28.
Recognized I am probably stressed even if I don't feel stressed. (What does stress look like for me?)
Move more every day.
Reach out to my family more frequently. (What is that going to look like?)
Spend time outside every day.
What is the reason I don't sleep well? Or do I think I don't sleep well?
Continue logging food to encourage thought before eating, but ignore numbers!

I have been managing a start-up laboratory for 3 years. Even though we have been profitable for the last two years, the owners do not feel it is sustainable. We close February 28. I live in a rural community where decent jobs are hard to come by. I have been entertaining the idea of freelancing. I am not sure I am up to the huge task the marketing would entail. At lunch yesterday a very good job opportunity fell in my lap. Thank you Lord, I'll take it and cross task #1 off my list.

Thank you for your thoughts in the stress post. One thing that resonated was feeling overly emotional. It doesn't happen often. I do know God has blessed me with a nature not inclined to anxiety or worry. I have come to the conclusion I manage stress in a way that is not adversely effecting my health. Crossing this one off as well.

I have moved more...intentionally, but not outside. I am a wimp, high winds and low temps kept me inside.

I am an introvert, perfectly happy with my own company, and a homebody. I spend my time working and doing solitary activities to recharge my brain and energy. Too many people or just long periods of time with people are draining. When my husband and I married two years ago, my family went from 4 to 9. Our children are ages 18 to 26. In my heart, I know I don't spend enough time with them and my parents. I need to balance this better. I don't ignore them or totally withdraw, but I could do better. This is what Friday looked like.

When my husband asked me to lunch I said yes. (Win.) One of our friends was there and told me about a job he knew I would be great at and is in a position to make sure I get it. (Big win.) Two of our children were there. (Another win.) I would say lunch went well. Smile I was strongly encouraged to go speak to the person who had the job opening. What? Right now?! I would rather follow the proper procedure. Ok, fine I will go. I can't even begin to explain how far out of my comfort zone the thought of that even is, but I went. (Win?) On my way home from work, I was going to call my parents to tell them about the job opportunity; I stopped by their house instead and told them in person. (Win.) One of our sons stopped by. That's not true. He called me when I left my parent's house and I told him to come by. (Win.) Amongst other things he wanted me to go to Fort Worth with him. I told him no. I needed to update my resume. I am much of a perfectionist and writing takes me a long time. And then there is the cover letter. He left to run an errand and planned to come back. I checked with my husband about my decision not to go. I was informed that for child to even ask, he was begging. Productive check-in. Ok, I will go. (Win.) At the same time another son needed help with his taxes. I told him he best come over in within the hour or it would need to wait until Monday. So far I had indulged Husband, lunched with friend, engaged 5 out of 7 children, saw my parents, networked with a prospective employer, agreed to a road trip, and did taxes with child. By now my experiment snowballed and I had potential to feel overwhelmed.

I was creative with coping strategies. Before I went to an impromptu, "Hello, I am Shelley and you need to appoint me meeting" with a potential employer, I went home to an empty house and got ready for the day all over again (with more make-up and fresh hair). The private common ritual was restoring. When I went to my parent's, I told myself that I was in control for the length of time I spent  there. I kept it to a half hour. When Fort Worth son called, I just reminded myself that things were tough for him right now and told him to stop by rather than chat on the phone. Having done that, I also told he and my husband I wasn't cooking dinner and sent Son off to buy something for them to eat for dinner and I retreated to quietdom. The other thing I did was give Tax Child a time limit to come over. Granted this whole day seems like more than I had in mind with the goal I stated in the morning, but I learned it was manageable by, well, managing it. I think I can be mindful about stepping away. Task complete? Yet to be seen.

Still working on the sleep question.

Logging food? I wasn't hungry yesterday, so I didn't eat. It was a challenge at lunch until I just asked, "Why should I eat it I am not hungry? I have good company and coffee." Today I have logged and navigated on the road food fairly well. No major issues. Our conversations in other threads about keeping it simple are helping tremendously.

That was a bit of a lengthy post, but it helps to talk through ideas.
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Post by The Walrus on Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:04 pm

Nice to see you here, Shelley, and I am looking forward to updates! You have an interesting life, thanks for sharing here.
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Post by ShelleyM on Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:10 pm

Thank you. I am very happy to be here and getting to know you all as well.
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Post by RedComet on Sat Feb 09, 2019 10:01 pm

Shelley-- Congrats on the new job opportunity! That's exciting!

I hear you on the low temps, but it's great that you've continued moving regardless. Just because the movement takes place indoors doesn't make it any less valuable.

You have a huge family! I thought my family (of 7) was big! lol. I sometimes struggle to be present for my family and to give my children ample 1 on 1 time, but based on the description above, it sounds like you're doing splendidly. I admire your focus in outlining the various tasks you want to tackle, and you seem well on your way to completing the list!
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Post by Lovebird on Sun Feb 10, 2019 12:51 am

+1!

Couldn't have said it any better, RedComet.

Great start Shelley! Regarding sleep: there's a good chance on sleep improving simply by adapting to Primal. If you find it still could be better, lots of members find L-theanine to be helpful. http://primalforums.forumotion.com/t201-l-theanine

No worries on lengthy posts, it was a fun read and a great way to get to know you better.

_________________
Self-acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re no longer allowed to change anything about yourself. It means that you love yourself without condition, regardless of your flaws; that you can be both okay with yourself and committed to change, at the same time. - Sean Croxton
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Post by Rig D on Sun Feb 10, 2019 3:31 am

+2. A very busy day. Big congrats on the job landing for you, I hope it is well nailed down so it doesn't wriggle away. I'm with RedComet, we have 4 adult children, I don't know how you managed 7.
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Post by ShelleyM on Sun Feb 10, 2019 6:18 am

Rig D wrote:+2. A very busy day. Big congrats on the job landing for you, I hope it is well nailed down so it doesn't wriggle away. I'm with RedComet, we have 4 adult children, I don't know how you managed 7.

Me too about the job wriggling away. I am concerned because I have yet had an opportunity to update my resume and cover letter, and I am still in Fort Worth. I have everything with me to work on it, but I struggle on laptops and noisy environments. With the impending loss of my job, I don't have my own and am on my son's. Which is even more challenging considering I couldn't log in to it last night. When I spoke to the hiring person Friday afternoon, I told her I would have all my paperwork uploaded by Monday. We are driving back home today. It is a 6-hour drive. Maybe I can work on it then.

I try hard to let each child know I am available to them if they need me. I am very efficient at not getting involved in the day-to-day drama of their lives unless they invite me in. We still have one that lives at home and is a senior (sort of, long story) in high school. Another has a room at our house and stays sometimes. Two of them are married, and one is away in college. We currently have two grandchildren and another due in June.
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Post by ShelleyM on Sun Feb 10, 2019 6:25 am

Goals for Today:

Write and post a Go Fund Me.
Update resume and cover letter.
Finish application process.
Drink more water (Why is it the more you drink water, the more you want?)
Download WhatsApp to connect with the daughter in Madrid on my new phone.
Move more today than yesterday.
Go outside?
Continue pondering the sleep question.
How do I play?
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Post by Meant2Move on Sun Feb 10, 2019 7:46 am

As a fellow introvert, I just wanted to say how much I admire your approach to managing all those requests and demands the other day! Bonus points for crediting yourself with all those wins. We'll done!

Sent from Topic'it App
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Post by ShelleyM on Sun Feb 10, 2019 8:27 am

Thanks, M2M.

Are any of you writers? I am working on my Go Fund Me post. I am trying to write it from a NICU preemie point of view. I did well in some spots and can't get it right in others. I think it would be better to transition to my voice at some point, but I am having a hard time figuring it out how and when to do that or if it is even a good idea. Any takers? I can PM you.
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Post by Pedidoc on Sun Feb 10, 2019 8:38 am

I am a former NICU nurse and my 4 sons were all premature. If you want to PM me within the forum, I can give you feedback.
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Post by Vh67 on Sun Feb 10, 2019 9:34 am

To second M2M, as an introvert, I am impressed with how you are working through it to meet your goals. Some days I have to push myself to interact with the outside world.

Good luck with new job!
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Post by The Walrus on Sun Feb 10, 2019 5:44 pm

I'm in the resume/cover letter/interview skills mode myself - it's fun and not fun at the same time. But I hope to get some type of job soon.

I love long posts! The longer the better, I say! Very Happy
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