Perennially Yours - part 2

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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Tue Nov 27, 2018 8:39 am

Was able to change the meeting with mom's financial company. They called her to get a name as a beneficiary which is what I have been wanting to do for a long time. They can split the money right up at her death vs going to probate which is what her lawyer wants to do.

We'll see how far we get. I have my sister's family info and will take a picture of it vs. taking the paper with me.

I do not have my son's SS#. Will try to get before Thursday.

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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Vh67 on Tue Nov 27, 2018 9:36 am

Daisy is offended! She is a svelte 85 lbs!

Your description of dropping off your gifts made me giggle! I am glad that you dropped off the gifts secretly and without injury!
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Lovebird on Tue Nov 27, 2018 9:43 am

Vh67 wrote:Daisy is offended!  She is a svelte 85 lbs!

I'm sorry, but that make me actually laugh out loud... give her a cuddle for me, will you? Smile

Blame it on the camera as it's known to add a few pounds... anyone can tell you/her that... she looks like a star!
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Tue Nov 27, 2018 4:34 pm

Vh67 wrote:Daisy is offended!  She is a svelte 85 lbs!

I hope Daisy will accept my apology. Like someone said, photos make one look larger.

Britney is 100 lbs.

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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Vh67 on Tue Nov 27, 2018 5:19 pm

Britney is big girl! I bet she is a beauty! Daisy has forgiven you and sends lots of kisses. The best thing about dogs is they don't hold grudges. Wag more and bark less is my new mantra!
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Lovebird on Tue Nov 27, 2018 11:11 pm

Vh67 wrote:Wag more and bark less is my new mantra!

Always a good rule to live by! Bet Daisy gets things done her way anyhow as people will want to see her happy!

PPam, no wonder you enjoy walking Britney as often as you can. Smile
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by AutumnTiger on Wed Nov 28, 2018 3:15 am

Lots here that made me LOL - the Daisy being offended comment, and Val: wag more and bark less is definitely something I should adopt.

Pam: walking our furry friends is so good for the body and soul - loved seeing how you said you should go now, and did! Yay!
Still sounds to me like you are doing too much, and perhaps that is the cause for your distraction with the laundry, you do seem to be busier as a retired person than I am working for a living!! Please take good care of yourself, but I think you do mostly, and certainly your active lifestyle is going to help you put off being that old person in the chair for as long as possible.
If/when that day comes I hope you can accept it with peace knowing that you did as much as you could/wanted to in your active years.
You are certainly an inspiration for us to keep doing what we love!

The Moth sounds like it will be a grand old finale to the year tonight - I hope you have a fabulous time.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Thu Nov 29, 2018 5:36 am

AT -- us retired folks do wonder how the heck we accomplished so much WHEN working.  haha

~~The Moth Grand Slam was great other than, for some reason, the producer had us volunteers to do the voting on how good the story was.  My volunteer friend and I did not agree on points.  We had to reconcile it.  Her issue with every story was "what were the stakes".  I did not agree with her but I have now reviewed the Moth suggested basics for composing a story and she was absolutely correct.  I did not like being on the voting team as I know all these story tellers and I am biased.  

~~Got a message from my DS that last night was butchering night.  I was able to stop by while they were still at it (late).  Got to see the men who were the boys who spent loads of time at my house as teenagers.  Always fun.  

~~Today is the meeting with the financial advisor for mom's accounts.  Mom's lawyer did not want us to split up the beneficiaries and have the account probated.  Still never understood but she happens to remember that and we will see what the financial advisor can do in the realm of convincing.  The funds would be held up for at least a year and there are costs involved.  However I see my notes say that the lawyer will handle the last income tax.  That would be a good thing.  I guess I should call my own person who does our taxes and find out her ideas on this.  

~~2 mile dog walk yesterday.  27F with quite a wind but, when dressing properly, no problem and quite overheated at the end.  We only do 15 min miles but Britney runs ahead, and back, and around often so she gets the most exercise of all.  

~~ Taking mom for her facial waxing today and a quick stop by a pharmacy for a flu shot.  She somehow missed the event where she lives and, when checking with her family drs. records, I found no indication she received one our last visit which was probably too early for it.  

~~Don't know if I'll manage a dog walk today with the meeting taking place.  

~~Have made a decision.  I'll drive the 2.5 hrs to Lake MI tomorrow for a beach walk.  Forecasts calls for sunny, 37F with only 3 mph wind.  Finally.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Vh67 on Thu Nov 29, 2018 9:39 am

Pam, having beneficiaries on all your mom's (and your) accounts helps avoid probate as well gets money to people quicker. I am in the middle of two probates right now and they are really dragging out.

You can have different beneficiaries on different accounts or multiple beneficiaries on one account. My sister listed my brother as the sole beneficiary on her life insurance with the understanding that he would share it with my oldest sister and me. There were two big limitations with that, the first being the most obvious, he could have decided to keep it all to himself. The other is one most of don't think about, anything he gave to us over $14,000 was subject to a gift tax. This limitation is per person per year and the limit is changed occasionally. So he was able to give me $14k and E $14k one year and the balance the next year.

On her retirement account, she listed all of us separately as equal beneficiaries and it was much easier. Depending on the number of people that are beneficiaries, it might be easier to do this or list the head of each of her children's families, like you, your brother and your sister's oldest child.

Probate is costly and slow. My sister died 14 months ago and we are just getting ready to settle it.

I hope you have a wonderful drive and beach walk!
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Fri Nov 30, 2018 6:14 am

Vh67 - thanks for your input.  

~~My head was spinning last night after the mom meeting.  She is just realizing she has enough money to purchase a mobility wheelchair (Airhawk) that another resident has.  We visited him for a brief, unexpected, time.  I was under the impression that she had sat in the chair during her previous conversations with this man. Found out later she had not and then it was my fault for leaving his apartment.

I feel like we cannot keep interfering with him about this.  He did not seem put out by our unexpected visit but all the same....

What bothers me is that I could tell she had no idea how much money she had and that she could purchase this chair. She gets the monthly statement, opens it, and did not realize the total value.

Furthermore, she is thinking that I could load and unload the chair so that she could have out of doors freedom too.  Not happening.  I can barely pick up the salt for my water softener.  I switched to 25 lb bags and it is still difficult.  

~~Furthermore, the conversation with the financial company became even more complicated when I mentioned what happens should one of the beneficiaries passes before my mom.  I do not know what I do not know, if you get my drift.  The financial rep felt that the money would be equally divided between the remaining beneficiaries and that is where I had a problem.  For instance, my niece has a husband and 2 children.  I believe a contingency should be named vs. the other 3 people to end up getting 1/3.  

~~An additional complication is that 50% is to go to a family of 4 to divide and 50% to a family of 3.  Again, what if one passes needs to be considered.  

~~Called my own financial advisor (who does not sell or handle investments) and she felt the same as me about avoiding probate due to the time lag and also because there is Transfer on Death clause.  The beneficiaries would have no tax implication unless they sell.  The date of mom's death would be the date used when taxing any of a beneficiary's sale. There is a term for that.  My understanding is that it means the growth does not go back to when mom purchased.

~~My head is still spinning.  I slept little and felt I could not make the beach run today.  

~~I phoned the attorney my financial advisor had nothing but good things to say about but was unable to make contact prior to the meeting.  

~~One good outcome of the meeting was setting aside some of the cash she has in the account to an account with both our names.  I only wanted that because should mom need to move or I need to bring in medical care there will be costs and I do not know how I'd financially support that.  We have a meeting next week to finalize that part.  

I volunteered to type up the list of beneficiaries with all the pertinent information and have it ready by then.  Am thinking we need to talk to an attorney about this before I set it up.  I do not want people upset and then end up in probate court anyway.  

Just what I needed during this already busy time of year!!!!

The good thing is that I got her in for a flu shot.  She missed the independent living day and I did not find out about it earlier.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Vh67 on Fri Nov 30, 2018 2:18 pm

I am sorry you missed your lake trip!

You sound like you are on top of all of this. Doing some follow up with an attorney is a good idea. You are such a good daughter. Do you have a durable power of attorney that would allow you to handle your mom's affairs when she is no longer legally competent? It is helpful to have one.

The beneficiaries receive the accounts at a stepped up value based on the value at the date of death. Your mom has probably held the stocks for a while and her cost basis (what she paid plus expenses)of the stocks is probably far lower than their current value. If she sold them now, she would probably owe a substantial amount of taxes on profit.

Sorry if I am talking too much. I enjoy this kind of thing.

You absolutely should not be lifting a heavy chair. I think they make attachments to cars to lift the shares into a holder.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Pedidoc on Fri Nov 30, 2018 4:53 pm

It is very common here to put in a clause that anyone who tries to fight the will is immediately cut out of the will.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Sat Dec 01, 2018 8:30 am

Pam so sorry you are going through all of this right now.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Sun Dec 02, 2018 1:49 am

vh67 -- I am the Power of Attorney.  And, yes, she has held these stocks a  long time.  Way back in the 90's when everyone was joining stock clubs, she had been in one with a group for quite a while.  

~~Yesterday was awesome, at least for me.  Mom did not ask about the mobile chair she wants.  Therefore I did not need to explain my dilemma about not ordering right now.  It just isn't fair to ask me to simply purchase this chair with no research, etc.  

~~I have everyone's SS#, etc. Will put together all the names, with important information by Wednesday.  I am feeling rather freakish (is that a word) by having a list with all the pertinent information.  When I travel in the vehicle with it I have it hidden under the back near the extra tire.  If I am in an accident....  Along with that info is my Power of Attorney since I realize I need to be "on it" at any moment.

~~Mom is back to wanting an electric frying pan.  She mentioned she found they had one at a hardware store in town yesterday.  I just did not have the energy to stop yet another place.  I had paid bills, and put up the Christmas decorations for her.  Not loads of them but enough.  

~~The plan for today is to move my riding lawn mower back into the basement.  I had removed it when the septic system drain issue sprung up with the thought that they would need room down there.  They did need the room at that time.  It is covered out back  on a slab but I think it would be better to protect it from the weather not just the tarp I have over it.  There is snow but it has been warmer and raining the last couple of days so movement is possible.  

~~While mom was shopping for groceries I managed to purchase clothing for my great nephews.  Feels good to have all their Christmas things purchased.  I have purchased things for my sons and girlfriend.  

~~The 12 Days of Christmas began on Friday.  First gift was a collapsible bucket; great for picking up beach glass and  use at camp.  #2 was a "pretend" bird house for hanging out near all my other outdoor hanging stuff.  Can you tell, I do not know what to call it?  haha
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Sun Dec 02, 2018 2:19 pm

Still very busy.

The bucket will be nice.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by The Walrus on Sun Dec 02, 2018 7:30 pm

We just bought one of those buckets! For watering the dogs. Very cool.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Mon Dec 03, 2018 3:59 am

~~I did manage to move the lawn mower against my DS's suggestion that it would tear up the yard.  However, while moving it I noticed a downed limb in my little garden on the side yard.  I investigated and it is a huge limb that I am unable to move in the slightest.  

This is a tree, Bradford Pear, that I received from my AZ friend a year after my sister's passing and with no notice.  They just showed up with this tree.  I had no where else to plant but where I put it.  Actually did not like the tree there from the beginning but I have surrounded my yard (1.5 acres) with white pines and I still want some area to play, so to speak.  

Of course that tree has crashed two of my favorite Red Pines that were doing so well and serve as an outline of this area.  I got out my SawZaw and started on the smaller limbs.  Took my time and a break.  The tree is ruining those pines trees by bending the branches.  I hope to have alleviated some of the weight.  The pine tree branches seem to be bendable and perhaps it is good this occurred before the freezing winter temps when it would snap them.  I'm bummed.  I  had just shown the tree to my AZ friend when here in October and got approval to remove it from her.  She did not, nor did I, realize it would get so huge.  Prior to that tree arriving I had eliminated as many deciduous trees as possible due to all the leaf raking I have to do.  If only I would have followed through with cutting it down.  

Started a small fire to rid myself of a small portion of those limbs but got no where since it has been raining for days and it started raining again.  

~~Have been purchasing items for me since my bday is coming up.  Long underwear since the silks I use look pretty sorry these days (they still work).  And slippers.  I keep saying I need slippers (to myself) and I had not followed through.  Now I have 2 pairs coming because Cabelas' website was confusing and I could not tell if I had ordered.  I called them and within 30 minutes the order had been filled and could not be cancelled.  Talk about Right on Time!  She assured me that I will be able to send back with no shipping charge.  

~~Got my Christmas shopping done for my DS's and one's girl.  Using my Cabelas points for those purchases.  That means they can use the gift cards for items they want/need.  

~~Put up my lighted Grapevine Wreath on the back apple tree that I have used for so many years.  I get to glance at it constantly from my back window.  Then I added lights to my huge driftwood piece I picked up on Lake Huron during the fall.  She looks nice in the front yard.  

~~Today is mine!  I declare it so.  Felt so good to be outside and moving.  I slept better last night.  Did not even make 7:30-8.  Do not know when I toddled up to bed but the CPap says almost 6 hours.  Hurray for that.  DGDog will receive her walk and I'll pick up her dad's SS#.  Once I have that the pertinent info the list will be complete and ready for Wed.  Wed's meeting is just to finalize the $ for the account with just my name on in case I need cash to help pay for her care in the future as that type of care is extraordinarily high.  Makes me feel less stressed since, as vh67 said, selling stocks would impact her greatly and her income tax forms (me making sure I had all needed info).  

I know this is a long entry and I do not expect people to try to keep up.  It is here for my own info (my diary).  

Have a great day.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Mon Dec 03, 2018 7:04 am

Busy, busy. You put me to shame. Smile
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Meant2Move on Mon Dec 03, 2018 10:14 am

~~Today is mine! I declare it so.

I love this! Go Pam - seize the day!
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by ONTARIO on Mon Dec 03, 2018 10:44 am

What a bummer on the tree situation. Not only have you lost that tree (even though you didn't like it and wanted it gone. Wink ) but the damage it has done to your other trees and shed. I'm glad you are able to remove a lot of it yourself, though. Tree removal, etc can be quite pricey. Mother nature, eh?! She sure creates work for us!

I, too, am like you, in that I often just don't buy myself things I need or just plain old want. I guess we're just too practical. I hate spending or wasting money on myself. But I hope your purchases are what you wanted/needed and you enjoy having some new things for yourself.

Enjoy your "Me" day.

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- Nancy Levin
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Mon Dec 03, 2018 4:23 pm

M2M – I should have known you’d love that phrase.  
Ontario – my lengthy entry got you confused, no shed involved.  Thanks for your input though.  
My head is spinning due to how much I accomplished today.  

Stopped to pick up DGDog and oldest’s SS# on a piece of yellow paper that I inserted in the inside coat pocket along side my cell.  Decided to break down and take all his boxes that were lying around since I already planned a recycling stop.  Went to the State Park only open to vehicles during the summer.  We walked 2 miles.

Took Britney home (no, I don’t like the name but she is 10 and my granddaughters named her back then….you know Britney Spears and all that).  

Went on my way and stopped at the pharmacy where a long line made me decide to move along.  Stopped at the Post Office for stamps as both mom and I needed some.  

Went grocery shopping.  Tried the pharmacy again.  Got the meds.  Afterward I stopped at the recycling place.  Next was the Township hall where I can leave used batteries.  Then it was on to the laundromat.  Only took an hour for my huge load.  

Back home and was getting ready to complete the project for mom’s stock market advisor.  Reached in my coat pocket…..no SS# on a piece of paper!  I had only spoken on my phone once. That was when I was hiking with the DGDog.  Mom phoned.  Someone called her and she could not understand what they wanted!  She thought it was the pharmacy.  Nope.  Called her back.  That was at the middle point of our walk.  

The SS# was on a piece of yellow paper and since I knew where the phone call (during the hike 4 hrs earlier) was received it meant I needed to backtrack to that area.  That would have meant another 2 miles.  The skies were beginning to dim for the day. I found a short cut closer to the area I needed to walk.  It had lightly snowed all day but there was only a light dusting on the leaves.   The asphalt where we walked was totally devoid of snow.  

I said a prayer and took off.  No yellow paper.  I worried that his name was on the piece of paper.  I could tell someone had walked the trail because there was a cigarette butt on the road (yes, p*sses me off too).  However, that meant someone had been there and could have picked up the paper!  Good grief.  Told you I am a good “scout”….  Finding barely used paths is my specialty so finding a butt was nothing.  

Drove home even more upset than at the onset.  I was composing what I was going to say to my son especially since I did not know if his name was on that piece of paper too.  The BEST news is that there was the yellow piece of paper on the floor right where I hang my coat!  

I have been so freaked about losing this information.  What an ending to my day.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by Rig D on Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:18 am

A great ending to a very busy day.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Tue Dec 04, 2018 10:56 am

And all that rushing to get the personal information and prepare it was for naught. The meeting has been cancelled for tomorrow since the company is closing. It has been rescheduled for next Wed.

Was going to take my DGDog for a walk today but her dad was home so I decided she would get enough attention.

Went to do my dark laundry today. Took an hour. Now all my clothing and linen is clean.

Tired today. A nap may occur.

work The Moth this evening. My DS's friends are coming. I can save them a seat which works out nicely for them since seating it first come/first served. This is my youngest's best friend from way back when. He hung out at my house and went on camping trips with us. I just love his wife so all is good.

Thinking of NM today.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by The Walrus on Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:21 am

Lucky thing with the yellow paper!

Maybe you will keep both pairs of long underwear? I’m going to invest in another pair for next winter.
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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:14 pm

TW -- I wish it was two pairs of long underwear. It was 2 slippers.

Yea, so lucky, relieved and all that.

Just did dark laundry today. Not much of anything else.

I have slept better the last few nights....not near where I'd like to be but better.

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Re: Perennially Yours - part 2

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