That big stupid bird!

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Post by ToddAndMargo on Fri Nov 16, 2018 9:31 pm

Hi Boys and Girls,

It is that tine again. It is time for my "annual thanksgiving rant".

Over 30 years ago, I took over cooking for Thanksgiving, mainly because I adore my wife's attention and want her around during Thanksgiving, she being one of the things I am very thankful for.

Plus lets face it guys. What right minded wife can resist a husband that cooks? We husbands are like the swamp they fall into and can't get back out! :-)

I cooked THAT BIG STUPID BIRD once. What a pain in the ass! And defrost it on whose refrigerator! Mine would take over a month!

THAT BIG STUPID BIRD is heavy, awkward, hustling it in and out of the over is a hassle (singled eyebrows and all. Plus, you get hardly any meat off the sucker (I was going to call it a "turkey", but..).

So, in subsequent year, rather than cooking THAT BIG STUPID BIRD, I will cook cutlets. And I get more turkey leftovers out of it that THAT BIG STUPID BIRD!

And years ago, both my wife and I looked at each other and finally admitted to each other that we both do not like the meat that comes off THAT BIG STUPID BIRD. So I cook chicken breast cutlets.

Not, my throat swells shut just walking by skinless chicken breasts in the grocery store, so I have come up with a way around it. And it works for cutlets from THAT BIG STUPID BIRD as well.


This is my Primal/Diabetic Thanksgiving dinner this year:

In my saute pan, I cover them with cold water, salt the dickens out of them, and let them sit for about four of more hours (more doesn't hurts them). Stir occationally. I use sea salt. Then dry them and the pan off.

Add a cube (yes, a WHOLE cube) of pasture organic butter, basil, Italian parsley, rosemary, thyme. Then add back the cutlets.

This year I grew garlic and shallots so while cooking on the first side, I sliced up shallots and garlic, added to the pan and flipped the cutlets.
DON'T SALT THEM or you will be really, really sorry!!!

Shallots and onions are interchangeable. Fresh shallots are so very powerful. Be careful to cook them first or your will puke. No fooling! They are STRONG. I would say as strong as THAT BIG STUPID BIRD is dry.

Okay, while this is going, saute fresh green beans with butter and garlic slivers and a bit of Redmon's sea salt.

A word about sea salt. It is almost pure sodium cloride, as the processors have removed the other minerals and sold them off to supplement companies. For a full spectrum sea salt, you need t go with Redomd's or Himalayan sea salt. Redmond's is finer grained (it doesn't crunch in your teeth).

Whist that is all going on, chop up some white mushrooms (the are lower carb), some more onion or shallots, garlic.

Once you remove the cutlets (DON'T OVERCOOK THEM!), toss the mushrooms, onions/shallots, garlic into the dripping. Add a bit of Redmond's (not much as the drippings are already salty).

Cook until the mushrooms are soft and the shallots long longer make you puke. Then add Organic heavy whipping cream to make a combination stuffing/gravy.

Enjoy! And NO BIG STUPID BIRD.

Remember to thank God for all your blessing.

See you all this time next year,

God bless,
-T


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Post by Rig D on Sat Nov 17, 2018 8:46 am

So... Your really big mistake was to to volunteer to cook? I am a professional "assistant," never to be confused with being "the cook."
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Post by Vh67 on Sat Nov 17, 2018 3:19 pm

I have never been a fan of turkey until we bought a locally raised heritage turkey. Totally different bird and utterly delicious! This year we got two, cut in half. We slow roasted it last year and it was perfect, moist and flavorful. Plus turkey bones make the best broth.
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Post by ToddAndMargo on Sun Nov 18, 2018 6:10 pm

Rig D wrote:So... Your really big mistake was to to volunteer to cook?  I am a professional "assistant," never to be confused with being "the cook."

When they look up at you and their eye's sparkle at you after they've tasted something you've cooked for them, then you are stuck doing it for the rest your life. Wives should not be allowed to have such powers over their husbands, but they do ... Life is good!

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Post by ToddAndMargo on Sun Nov 18, 2018 6:22 pm

Vh67 wrote:I have never been a fan of turkey until we bought a locally raised heritage turkey.  Totally different bird and utterly delicious!   This year we got two, cut in half.  We slow roasted it last year and it was perfect, moist and flavorful.    Plus turkey bones make the best broth.  

You are not the first person I have heard this from. A local guy I know does full circle. His heritage chicken, turkey, lamp have a waiting list OUT TO THREE YEARS!!!

I do not know why more folks do not do Full Circle. If memory servers me and my data is not advertising, conventional makes about $400 per acre and full circle makes around $1,100 or maybe is was $1,400 per acre. Full circle is so much better on so many front: family farmers get to make a reasonable living, the earth benefits from being nurtured, the water table does not get poisoned, the animals are healthy, and humans get to consume healthy, tasty food.

I will keep looking to see if anyone else has started heritage turkey.
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Post by Starkanda on Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:30 pm

This is my go-to recipe. Made it 3 times already and perfect every time. (Easy and never dry!)
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/222332/how-to-cook-a-turkey/
This year, my folks are doing the deep fried turkey, so thankfully I'm off the hook, but sadly I won't have any of those luscious pan drippings for gravy!
I would love to try a heritage sometime, they're really that awesome? Smile

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Post by ToddAndMargo on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:09 pm

Got everything cooked up and in the refridge. Trying rice cauliflower, mushrooms, onions in the pan drippings for stuffing this year. And of course, cream gravy.

Next stop, the microwave, eating all day, and sitting in from of the Tele watching Korean Dramas (one has to know if Putz and Putzette "finally" get together) with the one particular woman with the sparkly eyes. (42 years now and she shows no sign of reform).
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Post by ONTARIO on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:33 pm

I personally love, love, love The Big Stupid Bird. In fact, it's my favourite meal of the year! I love a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I'm just sad that the Canadian Thanksgiving was in October and it's over. Crying or Very sad

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Post by ToddAndMargo on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:41 pm

ONTARIO wrote:I personally love, love, love The Big Stupid Bird. In fact, it's my favourite meal of the year! I love a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I'm just sad that the Canadian Thanksgiving was in October and it's over. Crying or Very sad

It takes forever to thaw, cumbersome as all hell to shuffle into the oven, give very little meat for the effort. That is why I do cutlets in a sauté pan. I even get more leftovers. And more time with sparkles too.

You should consider celebrate it twice in solidarity to your closest neighbours and allies. I celibate Christmas twice. Once on the 25th and once on the 7th. Life is to short otherwise. Have any American friends you can invite over? Makes for a good excuse!
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Post by Vh67 on Tue Nov 20, 2018 5:37 pm

Starkanda, heritage turkeys are worth it! I resisted spending that kind of money on a turkey but we got one last year and it was amazing! We bought two this year and had them cut in half... The breast is smaller and the meat is much more flavorful.

Ontario, you don't have to wait for a holiday to make a turkey! That is why we got four halves, so we can have them throughout the year.
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Post by ONTARIO on Wed Nov 21, 2018 8:46 am

Vh67 wrote:

Ontario, you don't have to wait for a holiday to make a turkey!  That is why we got four halves, so we can have them throughout the year.  

Yes, we often make Turkey throughout the year. But there is just something about having it on Thanksgiving, with the leaves blowing around outside, and the chilly fall air, and the big extended family at the house. It's just different, if you know what I mean.

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Post by Meant2Move on Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:15 pm

I got in a lovely 'autumn day' walk to pick up turkey parts - an entire bird is a bit much so I usually buy 1/2 breast, a drumstick or 2 and some thighs. Hubs was worried because I left it to the last minute, so was relieved when I sent him the text to say the walk to shop was a success.

We eat a fair bit of turkey throughout the year.
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Post by Narrowminded on Thu Nov 22, 2018 9:56 am

Glad you found what you needed M2M
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