Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Lovebird on Mon Sep 10, 2018 6:33 am

Tomi - I know you mean RL support. Just meant to say that we're here for you, rooting for you - and understand (at least some of) what you're dealing with and why you need (to do) this. Knowing the power of a lifestyle change and how much better he'd feel if only he'd understand and make appropriate changes... not to mention how much more cherished and understood you'd feel (and less frustrated).

Main reason my response took so long (aside from being asleep when you posted yours) was that I doubted on posting it, for perhaps sounding condescending, which was not my intention at all, but text doesn't always come across as intended. We all need to vent from time to time. And sometimes just getting it off your chest is enough, without any comments on it at all.

You can do this. Focus on the 20 grams of carbs first and don't worry about your protein being too much (remember Atkins induction from way back when?). It'll all fall into place soon enough.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Rig D on Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:28 am

I like the girls' advice. I really like the idea of you doing your B/L meals being as carb free as possible, then spend your carb budget on dinner. Fix what you want for dinner, you can add in something for DH that fits his desire.

As the guy in the group, I would put my two cents in from DH's perspective. I think if you have a heart to heart discussion on this, let him know what you are going to do and find out what he wants his "dinner add ons" to be. Beyond that, don't make a big issue out of it, don't nag him about it, just do it. Tell him you'll quit bugging him, but he also has to quit offering to let you share his bad foods, as for you that is the same thing.

If you keep bugging him about diet etc you'll simply build up more resistance, there's nothing more irritating than having your wife nag you about something you don't want to do. You should either be at or will reach a point where it doesn't bother you to watch him eat desserts, breads, etc. If he doesn't get clued in by seeing you make progress, you will never convince him. Doing what he does for a living, he's already very active, so the extra belly he hauls around probably isn't going away easily in in any event, and I'd guess that deep inside, it kind of bugs him that he has it, given his work. I think all us guys would like to have that six-pack ab, but for many of us, it just isn't going to happen without drastic, seemingly unrealistic measures, and getting going on that is very difficult and has to come from within.

I can empathize with your issue on not having the "real time support", but also agree with the others that the group here is the next best thing.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by marcadav on Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:49 am

Tomi, try Costco for macadamia nuts. They carry a 1.5lb bag and, if I remember correctly, it's less than $20.

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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Lovebird on Mon Sep 10, 2018 3:03 pm

marcadav wrote:Tomi, try Costco for macadamia nuts. They carry a 1.5lb bag and, if I remember correctly, it's less than $20.

I know they're expensive, however that sounds like a good deal; if it weren't far too easy to mindlessly nosh on them as they are so tasty...  Smile if you like pecans, they're even a tad lower in carbs (4 vs 5). You can choose hazelnuts, walnuts or almonds. All better than cashews, carb wise. Mix 'm up if you like and can handle them.

Careful with large quantities on the Brazil nuts (thyroid) and ofcourse peanuts are out when legumes are.



https://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/keto/guides
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by tomi1000 on Mon Sep 10, 2018 3:04 pm

Thanks LB and Rig Smile I always welcome the input and try to always read it with the kindness that it was offered. This group really is my lifeline because I don't have one in hubby. I do have a very close friend who is very supportive and completely understands, as her hubby is a total SAD meat and potatoes man. Veggies? He doesn't even go there. It makes life a little more challenging when hubby and wife don't eat the same way. She has MS and eats really healthy most of the time. Luckily for her, her hubby eats a large lunch and will be happy to make microwave popcorn for dinner, or eat a bowl of cereal.

Rig, thanks for the guys perspective. I was hoping you would offer your take on all this. I really try not to nag, but its hard seeing how little he cares about his health, so I do make little comments now and then. I always offer to explain how and why I'm doing this, but to him its just craziness. I'm guessing if he found out a couple of his closest friends were eating paleo or even Keto and he saw the great results he would probably jump on the train - but for some reason, guys don't seem to want their wives to change their way of eating. Sometimes he makes snarky comments about how long its been since we've had chocolate cake or ice cream in the house. I told him if he wants it to go buy it, but I'm not going to. Funny - he's been doing the majority of the shopping for the past year and has never come home with "bad foods".

Marcadav - I was looking at those online. I will order some. Thanks. I can't do the Costco thing right now, just not enough energy for that kind of shopping event.

I will work on moving my carbs to dinner.

Tonight is the start up BBQ for hubby's bible study group. The guys and their wives. We're expecting 13 people. We provide the place, the beverages, the paper plates and plastic utensils and napkins - plus set up and clean up. We also make one dish. Every one else brings their own meat (hubby does the grilling) and a side dish. Its going to be chilly tonight so I expect it will be an early evening for most everyone. Hubby and I got everything ready yesterday, I just need to put the Beef, Bacon and Bean casserole in the crock to warm up.

I have strayed a bit from my daily affirmations but they did stick with me - I no longer feel bad about my body and can loving embrace myself, fat rolls and all. I also no longer hear that nasty ex's voice telling me I'm fat and gross. It's so wonderful to have that out of my thoughts!



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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by tomi1000 on Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:08 pm

I think I will give the Pecans a try. 32 oz. for $16.49 at Costco. I will have to save the cashews for Superbowl Party I guess. I do like the lower carb load.

My protein drink with greens is 9 net carbs, but when I change from the Amy Myers greens to the Might Maca Plus, that will drop to 4 net carbs. That will leave 16 net carbs for later in the day. I could use those with dinner or for a snack before bed if I'm feeling hungry.

Today the scale dropped a couple pounds. Must have been that release of water last night. Even with the meds I was up 5 times to use the potty. I ended up taking a second 5mg dose at 1:30 am - but it didn't help much. Tonight I'm going to take 10 mg at bedtime. I was going to last night and forgot. Needless to say, sleep was not good. I tried to sleep in this morning, but still woke up every 45 minutes. So I'm dragging my heels today.

Just got asked if hubby's BIL, wife, their daughter and 3 grandkids can stay with us this weekend. Oh dear. The daughter and her kids are a handful!!! Chaos! Said yes -- I hope it goes well. Last time they stayed here they left a mess and damaged furniture.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Annieh on Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:09 pm

tomi1000 wrote:he's been doing the majority of the shopping for the past year and has never come home with "bad foods".  



That's pretty good support right there, worth appreciating.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by tomi1000 on Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:11 pm

Annieh wrote:
tomi1000 wrote:he's been doing the majority of the shopping for the past year and has never come home with "bad foods".  



That's pretty good support right there, worth appreciating.

good perspective - I was thinking more on the lines of - he doesn't want to take the blame for bringing bad foods home. Cuz I KNOW he wants to! Smile Wink
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by marcadav on Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:50 pm

Tomi, here's another perspective-- You've tried a lot of different plans over the years. None have brought you the success you want and deserve. Given all the shifts you've made, hubby might need to see some long term success before he buys in to any program you promote.

So, use this to stay on course. You being successful might just be the motivation hubby needs to take the leap of faith and join you.

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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Narrowminded on Mon Sep 10, 2018 7:19 pm

Hi Tomi -

I was going to say the same as Annie as I thought that the minute you wrote he hasn’t brought home bad stuff. My GF that you’ve spoken with, her DH actually has a shelf in the pantry. He does bring home bad stuff.

She too has done a lot of changing to find the magic and I’ve told her what Marcadav just told you.

As to last night, I don’t think the meds would help. When you are getting rid of inflammation, you will go a lot, day and night, so expect a few bad nights. Once that’s gone, things will level out.

Also, don’t give DH your happiness. If your happiness/motivation comes from DH cooperating/joining/supporting, then you will never be happy. He cannot be responsible for that. You have to be.

I can relate to DH eating things in front of you. It happened to me all the time before DH got sick. Sometimes I think it’s a test to see if you really “mean what you say”.

Once you hit ketosis, those bad things will no longer bother you. And heck maybe DH likes taking care of you. If you get better, then what?

There are so many reasons DH may have, and many of them unconscious that he probably doesn’t even realize he does them

Make your dinner, serve both of you the same, add his carb and just eat. Enjoy your food. As to him with the dairy, if he wants it, let him eat it. If his RA acts up, then maybe he will see the value in abstaining for himself.

Funny story, the first time I did W30, my GF and her DH were living with us. We all did W30. DH had separate meals because of what he could eat at the time. Well, he more than once said “he could not wait for the W30 to be over”. Why, who knows it really didn’t affect him at all. It was just a mind game with him. I guess he “thought” his meals were different, but they were his usual fare.

You got this and we are all behind you.

Hugs
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Pedidoc on Mon Sep 10, 2018 7:23 pm

I think you will like the pecans.  I like either pecans or walnuts to snack on.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by tomi1000 on Tue Sep 11, 2018 1:25 pm

Thank you all for the input.  Much wisdom here!  I will keep it all in mind.  I think he is tired of me trying new things, and nothing ever works.  When I tell him I'm going to step into another diet change I see his eyes glaze over!  Smile   I'm really okay with it all - I just had a day of frustration.  Now, looking back, I think I was just wanting a partner to help me with this.  You know, like a diet buddy.  Trying something new is always easier when you're not doing it alone.  But I do have all of you.  I guess having the person closest to you is the ideal, but its not always possible.  And yes - I think if do this and succeed he will maybe take a closer look at it.  I read about these couples who go on this journey together and they both lose weight and its like a relationship building, bonding adventure.  Maybe thats what I'm wanting more than anything.  The unity, the hand-holding "we're in this together" thing.  I think its kinda romantic when a couple takes on something like this and makes it work.  Hubby isn't much of a romantic - he's goofy and adorable.  Smile   It's not like we need any kind of relationship fix - we're great as we are now.  He's awesome and I love him to pieces.

So........... the amount of fat required for this diet, according to the Diet Doctor website, is 75% of total calories.  Wow, thats a lot of fat.  I did that yesterday - well lets just say my body needs to work on digesting all that fat cuz today I flushed a lot of it!  Very Happy  My NP refers to this as "greasing the shoot".  (she's pretty funny)  But - otherwise I'm doing good.  No gut pain and no urgency.  I think I can do this!  Smile  I need to do more research and find some examples of what a typical days worth of food looks like for others.  Julia - if your reading........... you could help here! Smile  

Yesterday I ate:

Protein drink with greens and coconut milk powder (going to double up on the coconut powder today)
2 TB cream cheese (note to self - remember to take a lactaid!)
3 TB avocado mayo
3 tsp spicy brown mustard
7 oz pork chop pan fried in olive oil
cashews - didn't measure (snack attack)

I'm sure the cashews pushed my carbs up and I'm going to guess I probably hit about 50 carbs.  Still low carb - but not ketosis low carb.  I'm reading that it can take up to 6 weeks of eating super low carb to actually get into ketosis.  More reading to fully understand this.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by tomi1000 on Tue Sep 11, 2018 3:11 pm

Meal plan for today:

Protein drink with greens and coconut milk
Avo mayo with mustard
Ground turkey with bacon
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Lovebird on Wed Sep 12, 2018 8:40 am

Tomi1000 wrote:Still low carb - but not ketosis low carb.  I'm reading that it can take up to 6 weeks of eating super low carb to actually get into ketosis.  More reading to fully understand this.

Be careful as to where you turn for info on keto... lots of inaccurate stuff out there...

"A ketogenic diet is not a diet that you can whimfully choose to go on and off of at any point. It takes time for your body to adjust and go into a state known as ketosis. This process? Anywhere from 2 – 7 days, depending on your body type, activity levels, and what you’re eating. The fastest way to get into ketosis is to exercise on an empty stomach, restrict your carbohydrate intake to 20g or less per day, and be vigilant with your water intake."

https://www.ruled.me/ketogenic-diet-faq/

Tomi1000 wrote:Meal plan for today:

Protein drink with greens and coconut milk
Avo mayo with mustard
Ground turkey with bacon

What's wrong with also eating your approved veggies for dinner?
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Narrowminded on Wed Sep 12, 2018 9:37 am

Yes, you still need some veggies.  I know 20 mg carbs is tough, but it’s not meant to be all protein and fat.

Mark’s book is actually very good as is Leanne Vogel’s “Keto Diet”
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by tomi1000 on Wed Sep 12, 2018 12:43 pm

Veggies = the greens I add to my protein drink.  https://store.amymyersmd.com/products/clean-greens

When this is gone I will be switching to Might Maca Plus. It has less carbs and more nutritional stuff.  

I will have a little more wriggle room with the carbs once I make that switch.  

I'm still working on the figuring out part.  If you want to look at my MFP you can find me at tomi1000. Its difficult to do with my digestive issues. I get really sick of eating broc and cauli everyday. My palate for veggies is very small, add nothing raw or acidic and it severely limits my choices.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by tomi1000 on Wed Sep 12, 2018 3:06 pm

I slept well last night! Smile Bed at 10 - asleep quick! got up at 12:30 to pee, and again at 5:30. Slept until 8:00. These pills seems to be working! I did wake up one other time, very briefly, but went right back to sleep once I realized I didn't need to go to the bathroom. Still at 5 mg. Still taking Skullcap and the Best Rest (but almost out), I will try it with just Skullcap for a while once the Best Rest is gone.

Got my office work done, ordered 1099s from IRS, and a few other desk work things. I need to make a bank run and run by a mail box for a large envelope that won't fit in our lock box outgoing mail slot.

Feeling good!
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by tomi1000 on Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:27 pm

Researching Paleo/keto recipes. Its amazing how many "keto" recipes are NOT paleo. I guess I always thought they go hand in hand -- but nope.

Todays food:

protein drink with greens and coconut powder - 10 net carbs
Papaya enzymes - 4 carbs
Avocaco Mayo - 1 carbs
Spicy brown mustard
Bacon
Ground Turkey
Ghee
Spices
Brocolli - 4 net carbs

Totals -
1289 calories
19 net carbs
99 gr Fat
78 gr Protein
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Narrowminded on Wed Sep 12, 2018 6:20 pm

Sounds like sleep is really coming around. That’s a good thing. Hopefully you can get off of all sleep aids with this new med.

I forgot about your greens in your smoothie.

What I like about Leanne’s book is her keto doesn’t use dairy, so it’s definitely more Paleoish.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Pedidoc on Wed Sep 12, 2018 10:29 pm

You can make it Keto and Paleo by avoiding grains, bad oils, and legumes.  You can avoid dairy with Primal.  I think this is all correct.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by tomi1000 on Fri Sep 14, 2018 2:27 pm

It would be awesome if I could get off all the sleep meds.  Last night I went to bed at 10:30, up to pee at 12:30 and slept until 9:00.  Amazing!!!!  I may have woken up a little a few times, but not for more than 30 seconds.  Roll over, and go back to sleep!!  Smile

Pedidoc -- Yes, Paleo/Primal/Keto are all easily meshed together. I'm doing really well this time around - no yucky feelings or terrible hunger or cravings. Yesterday I ate a little more carbs than I should have.  I ate a little watermelon and a couple grapes and a couple handfuls of cashews.  Still my daily carbs were only 46 net carbs.  Not low enough for ketosis.  I'm finding staying under 20 grams of carbs is pretty hard!  But I am going to stay the course and continue to work out the kinks.  I'll be changing to the lower carb brand of greens soon anyway, in fact, there isn't much left of the Amy Myers so I'm just going to combine them. The carbs will be inaccurate, but close enough to call 3 grams per serving.  My eating window is working out fine and I'm trying to not be militant about it.  

Weight is lolly gagging around 208-211.  I am hopeful that when I get dialed in on the keto and stay there things will start to drop.  But, I'm seeing clearing that when I eat a true keto carb level the scale drops and my tummy is flatter.  Edging up the carbs even a little causes a reverse.  Is my body really that ultra-sensitive to carbs?  

The builder is coming tonight to discuss the shop project.  Hopefully we be getting started soon.  He has been ill and it set his schedule way back.  Hubby talked to a guy who might want to get some of the wood for "projects".  I would love to see the salvagable wood repurposed rather than end up in the landfill.

I'm waiting for a call from an old friend to help on the landscaping project. He is a landscape contractor - what I really need is a landscape designer. So not sure he is going to be what I need. But, I have seen the work he did on his own yard and it really looks nice. I don't want something that looks professional done, but I don't want it to look like its a jumble of plants placed without any thought either.

I need to make a bank run today.  I also have a friend wanting to come by this afternoon.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Annieh on Fri Sep 14, 2018 6:27 pm

tomi1000 wrote: I have seen the work he did on his own yard and it really looks nice.  I don't want something that looks professional done, but I don't want it to look like its a jumble of plants placed without any thought either.  

Hope this call works out, sounds promising.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Narrowminded on Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:50 pm

Sounds like some good happenings at your place. Smile
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by Lovebird on Sat Sep 15, 2018 4:09 am

Glad to hear you're sleeping better. A good night's rest is key to health.
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

Post by KetoJulia on Sat Sep 15, 2018 2:07 pm

Hi Tomi!!!

Sounds like you're doing REALLY REALLY WELL so far! That is fantastic!

I've been wanting to write back since you mentioned my name, but couldn't from work cuz Wells
Fargo DENIES ACCESS to the lamest of sites.... So frustrating. And then I tried on my phone but
I couldn't remember my password to the site. LOL.

With regard to my macros, when I started, I chose a calorie limit, kept carbs at 20 or below, and then I let the fat and
protein fall where they may.

I didn't have a clue as to which of them (protein or fat) would keep me the most full so it was trial and error for a good
6 months. And I never really got into the super purist way of keto 100%. I just did what felt right to me, which ultimately turned out
to be about 65% fat 30%protein and 5% carbs.. arrrrround there most of the time. It varied and I didn't care.


Keep up the great work!


Julia
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Re: Tomi found her way - and the quest continues.

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