Narrowminded Continues - part 2

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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Tue Aug 28, 2018 9:25 am

Pam DF came to our house because it’s an annual trip he always makes. There is a huge D-Day re-enactment that happens in Ohio on Lake Erie every year. He is part of the committee that puts it on and has been for years. He is also one of the re-enactors, although he was not doing that this year. He is in charge of the veterans that show up.

Anyway, he drives to our house, for a day or so, then on up the other 2+ hours to the lake. Then after the long weekend W-Sunday, the comes back here to visit for a week, then heads home.

When he got here on Monday the week before, I didn’t think he should go, but you were not going to stop him. He is very stubborn. When he got back here the following Monday, he was quite ill, but you could not get him to go to the hospital. As I said, very stubborn.

He finally felt bad enough on Friday to get himself there. I tried to get him there on Thursday, nope. Even my neighbor who is a CRNP tried. She told him, go NOW. He would not listen. Yes, it could have gotten ugly at my place, however I would not have felt any guilt over it. As they say you can’t move city hall.

For now he is safely ensconced in the hospital where he will stay until they are ready to send him on his way. This is the hospital I love with DH, so they won’t send him home before he’s clear.

I’m sure part of his issue is in some respects he’s so cheap he squeaks and I’m sure the insurance he purchased was the bare bones just because he had too. In the end it’s saved him major big time, but only gives him the best coverage in his home state. Only emergencies are covered out of state. Even his ER visit would not have been covered at all if they had not admitted him. My guess is he waited so long to be sure he’d get admitted.

M2M - you are not heartless. Yes, he needs to go back home ASAP. If he’s not going to take responsibility for his health, no one is going to be able to do it for him.

Yes, I think Mom’s quality of life will get exponentially better once the move happens. I think she already seemed happier knowing it was in the process. Then they had 2 good days, so that helps as well.

Well I had a dream last night that I awoke feeling amazing about. I had gotten an answer to the situation with DD and her Ex. Made me so excited and then suddenly I began to cry. I realized that the same thing happened with DH and I and that what cause their failure she learned from me.

I certainly hope I can explain it clearly to her, and that she can understand what I will be trying to tell her. I highly doubt it will get her and the ex back, but something she can use to have a much better future with whomever it ends up to be.

It was a very rough revelation for me to realize with DH, but I’m happy I have. Hopefully I can use it to explain it to DD so she understands.

Speaking of DH, he woke anxious this morning. He was last night too.

I definitely think part is tied to when I leave the house as I did yesterday for errands and visiting the folks. He should settle today as I will be here all day. I do have work to do.

Have an awesome day all
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Rig D on Tue Aug 28, 2018 10:14 am

Mental attitude is important, I am concerned for DF in that he thinks he's "short-timing." Needs to re-orient that outlook or it may be a self fulfilling prophecy.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Meant2Move on Tue Aug 28, 2018 2:56 pm

Hey, you were looking at the new Fitbit Charge 3, I think. Do you know what is different between the existing version and the new one that ships soon?

Edit to add - nevermind... I went poking about reading reviews. I must admit, I am tempted by the Charge 3. I have a good discount via my insurance and I could claim it is for my birthday... I wonder if it would be better than my Garmin as far as accuracy?
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Wed Aug 29, 2018 7:57 am

Rig - Yes DF’s hard headedness may very well be his undoing at some point. Yesterday he thought he was coming home, but the did an ultrasound on his leg and found he has a blood clot. He will be seeing a vascular surgeon today to see how to proceed. I’m happy about that as it keeps him in the hospital a bit longer to heal. Not only that, I’m sure they will have PT admonishing him on proper movement. The man has been in bed a very large percentage of this year.

M2M - yes, haven’t pre-ordered the charge 3 yet. However it is still on my list. If the charge 3 matches the One, I would think that the flights of stairs would be more accurate. Seems when I had my One before losing it and a second one, it got my flights right. Steps seems to be pretty good as best I could tell. Since then they’ve upped their game with the sleep monitoring and of course the One had limited metrics. I’m hopeful for better accuracy. One thing is it’s less expensive than the Garmin for basically the same device, minus onboard GPS. For me that’s not an issue as I take my phone anyway for safety. And most of my walking is in the house.

Yesterday was just plain awful. DH’s body was so out of whack. Many meds given for anxiety and nothing seemed to help. Wasn’t sure what I’d find this morning. However, as of now, he seems much better and is resting peacefully.

I didn’t sleep well due to his issues yesterday and woke with a bit of a headache. I’m sure that will disappear as the day goes by. This disease is so very cruel.

Have a great day all
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Wed Aug 29, 2018 8:39 am

This disease is so very cruel.

That is an understatement for DH and his DW.

Not good news for DF or you. I am worried that they will push him out and you will end up with him Good friend or not....this is a terrible situation to be in for you.

Does he have family that you can contact about this? I sure hope so.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Meant2Move on Wed Aug 29, 2018 4:30 pm

Bloodclot - eek! Not surprising, but not good news, particularly for his drive home. I really hope you don't end up looking after 2 invalids!

So sorry for your poor sleep and resulting headache. Many days it seems sleep is apt to be your only escape. I wish for you a better day!
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by tomi1000 on Wed Aug 29, 2018 5:49 pm

oh my goodness -- when it rains............

I am happy to hear DF is still in the hospital - but sorry for his plight. I agree with Pam - there must be some other option for his care than to be back in your home. You have far too much to deal with as it is.

Such a roller coaster ride with DH's health!
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Wed Aug 29, 2018 6:08 pm

Well DH, while a little better today started with anxiety about 10:30 this morning. We’ve been fighting it since. I already know this won’t end well, but thinking that ending is getting ever closer.

As to DF, I did read that they are going to use blood thinners and he complains of being weak, so doubtful he will be driving anywhere very soon.

His family is all spread out. His mom had a stroke this spring, she is in FL and driving 6-8 hours ever w/o the stroke would not have worked for her. His sister is probably 6 hours from here in Philly but has cancer and is not in good health herself. His brother lives in either SC or GA. They don’t talk. Had a falling out a while ago.

We will see what happens. I do have one friends number that would probably fly here and drive him home. He lives in Nashville, so about 4 hours from where DF’s house is.

We will see when he gets discharged how things are. Although with the blood thinner, not sure he will be allowed to travel for a bit. Will have to see the instructions.

Well better get back with DH, I’ll have my coffee there. Been a good food day today.

Steps will continue, I need about 3500 yet today.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Pedidoc on Wed Aug 29, 2018 6:29 pm

I hope you and DH have a good nights sleep.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Vh67 on Wed Aug 29, 2018 8:26 pm

I hope you have a peaceful and restful night.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:30 pm

Thank you both although I’m not sure how well I will sleep. Tonight DH told me he loves me. For him that spells trouble. He never was much for voicing those words over the past 33 yrs of marriage or even the 5 years of dating prior. That scares me.

I’m praying that he hangs on until DD gets home Friday for the long weekend. She would feel awful if she didn’t get in a last goodbye.

It just feels close. I’ve been wrong before, too many times so this could just be another false alarm, but something feels different this time. Only time will tell

Steps are in. 240 days

Oh DF was put on heparin today for a few hours the. Eloquis for the clot. Thinks discharge tomorrow and is hoping to start driving home on Sat, taking a few days to do so. He worried about being a burden to me.

While that in part would be true, I’m not fond of him driving in the condition he’s in either. So we will see.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Annieh on Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:58 pm

NM, it does sound close. You have done very very well till now, may you continue to find peace and strength for what is to come. Thinking of you, and your DD.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Thu Aug 30, 2018 7:14 am

Thank you Annie

So far DH is sleeping and his vitals are good this morning. I did sleep, although went to sleep later than I should and woke earlier.

We will see what today brings.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Rig D on Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:20 am

NM, you and DH are in my prayers and I hope that if he goes soon, it will be a peaceful departure for him. I know for you it will be a trauma, with mixed feelings of relief and sorrow. With such a miserable illness and only one outcome, I hope that you are well prepared for life afterwards. Even though it will still be a shock and traumatic experience.

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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Pedidoc on Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:54 am

Thoughts and prayers for you and family.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by tomi1000 on Thu Aug 30, 2018 11:46 am

Prayers for you, NM. I wonder if he senses his time is near and wanted to make sure you know how he feels about you. If this truly is the end, then I pray it is peaceful for you both. May God bless your time together.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Meant2Move on Thu Aug 30, 2018 3:16 pm

I've wondered if his anxiety has to do with realizing it is time.

Peace to you and your children, you have all done very well by DH.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Vh67 on Thu Aug 30, 2018 4:55 pm

NM, you and your family are in my thoughts.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Thu Aug 30, 2018 7:20 pm

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

Today he slept most of the day. Kept him medicated, although not overly. He may realize his time is short. If he can sleep into oblivion that will be a peaceful passing.

Tonight we will watch the Steeler game together.

DF is back and doing much better. He plans to head home on Sat and take 2 days to make the trip. I think he will be ok if he does that. He will probably sleep 12 or more hours tonight. Little sleep to be had in the hospital with them in and out all night.

Steps will continue, have about 1300 to go.

Food was good today as well. I also got some work stuff done that needed doing.

Then found out DH’s brother’s father-in-law passed today. It was expected. Late 80’s and has been struggling for quite sometime. Still won’t be easy for them, but not a shock.

DD will be home around dinner time tomorrow night. She just missed passing the comp exam. 75%. She said more than half of the class didn’t pass. You need 80 or better. She doesn’t know when the retake will be. She’s bummed because it was a very long test.

Rig I’m as prepared as I can be. I know I’ll most likely get this house cleaned up and move to something smaller. Love the layout and the vaulted ceiling on the first floor, but I can’t see paying the taxes to only use 1 of 3 floors. Seems like a waste. That won’t happen immediately, but probably within a year of whenever this ends.

Have a great night all
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Fri Aug 31, 2018 9:32 pm

Today was a decent day.

DS came and first thing I had him put me through my WO. A wonderful thing happened. I was able to do 2 reg push-ups, then had to modify to my knees for the rest of that set and the next 2. However, for me that’s huge. It stinks though because I had been up to 20 a few years ago. Sad

Then I ran to BBB to get and ottoman for Mom. Went from there to see Mom and Dad. The ottoman works perfect. Just got one of the back to school kind that are boxes with lids. It’s light enough for her to move around and she can store something in there if she wants. It’s also perfect height. And the best part. It was 30% off due to back to school and then 20% and I only paid 11.99 Smile

Then stopped for some groceries for the weekend. Was home by 1:30. DS and I had lunch together. Then trimmed his hair and sent him home early.

I also did some finances for M&D and myself.

DH was stable today. Still having anxiety issues, but nothing like the other day. I also got some CBD oil to try with him. Will start w/once a day and see if it makes any difference. Quite expensive, but thought I’d give it a shot.

Food was good, steps are in and getting back to more of a routine with eating and such.

Have an awesome evening all

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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by The Walrus on Sat Sep 01, 2018 8:03 am

Peace and prayers to you
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Sat Sep 01, 2018 9:42 pm

Thank you TW

It was a rough one today. I did manage to get some work done and the laundry, but DH could not settle today. Gave him all his meds and then some, and he was still anxious. Will be calling the Dr on Tuesday to see if there is anything else we can do.

I did get my steps in and all primal eating, but a bit too much due to my frustration trying to get DH settled.

DF is leaving tomorrow. Not sure he should be driving several hours, but he’s planning to stop half way. He has decided he is going to try Dr Amy Myers Autoimmune Solution. He hasn’t gotten to the meat of the diet yet, so once he does, he may change his mind. However he said he doesn’t want to lose his colon, so he figures he has to try.

I warned him that he may feel worse before he feels better as he detoxes, and boy does he have a lot to detox. I can only imagine the carb flu he’s going to have...

Hope everyone has had a good day.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Sun Sep 02, 2018 8:21 am

Ongoing challenges.

Glad to hear DF is leaving/has left for home. Interesting that he will now read the book.

When backed into a corner . . .

Hope the Dr. will have something/ideas to give come Tuesday.

Take care NM.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Sun Sep 02, 2018 9:13 am

Thank you Pam.

It’s been a very rough start today. I’m sure this day is going to be a long one. Can’t really leave DHs side right now. Trying to figure out what to try next.

This disease is so very cruel.

Hope everyone has a good day today
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Pedidoc on Sun Sep 02, 2018 9:39 am

Not much to say that hasn't already been said.  With DF leaving, at least you don't have that responsibility.  My gut feeling is DH senses something.  Maybe the doctor needs to turn up the pressure (PIP) on the ventilator, just a thought.  

It is my heartfelt prayer that when the time comes he is at peace and not afraid.  No matter how well you and the kids have prepared, it is going to be devastating.  Please make sure you allow yourself to go through the stages of grief (I know you did so with the diagnosis, but you will need to do so again).  Please remember that the tribe is here to listen and support.  Please PM me if you need to talk about stuff that you don't feel you can post on the forum.
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