Narrowminded Continues - part 2

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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Rig D on Thu Aug 23, 2018 9:20 am

He is extremely immersed in the idea that his Dr’s know it all and we the plebes should not question. Plus he is one of those men who “know it all” about everything.

The old "Never in doubt, frequently in error" syndrome.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by ONTARIO on Thu Aug 23, 2018 10:25 am

He is extremely immersed in the idea that his Dr’s know it all and we the plebes should not question.

"Baaahhhhh", said the sheep. Wink

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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Thu Aug 23, 2018 6:27 pm

Rig - I love the way you put that!

Ontario - definitely, even when you tell them its a fox

Dad went home around 4 this afternoon. I’m thoroughly exhausted. I will get in my steps though, I’m not breaking this streak.

Tomorrow I have to scrub the bathroom he was using.

Sad thing is, we are going to have to separate Mom and Dad. I hate like heck to do that. Both my brother and I agree and we’ve been talking to mom. Just would like her to voice she’s ready to really have that happen. With her not being well herself, she needs her rest and she won’t get it with him there.

Speaking of mom they ended up draining 9000cc of fluid off of her belly.

Our friend says he’s going to go to the hospital tomorrow if he’s feeling no better. His color is horrible. However he agreed to what I had to feed him tonight. Pork chop, baked pot and peas. 100% better than what he has been eating.

I may suggest the book again tonight. We will see.

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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Meant2Move on Thu Aug 23, 2018 8:02 pm

What a difficult decision for your mom, I am sure she is torn.

Well done on continuing to get some movement in your life!
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Annieh on Fri Aug 24, 2018 4:17 am

Hoping for a better sleep for you.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Fri Aug 24, 2018 6:57 am

+1.

I hope your friend gets some help at the hospital if he is determined to go. I guess I do not understand his predicament and/or why he chose you for help.


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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Fri Aug 24, 2018 8:25 am

I did get a good nights sleep last night, however woke up barely able to move. My whole right side is tight. I know it’s from helping my dad stand probably 50 times yesterday, not counting the other 2 days. It will work itself out. Just miserable for the moment. I just need to move.

As to our friend, he didn’t really “choose” me for help. He always comes up this time of year and generally visits for a week. He likes to visit with DH and worries a lot about him. That’s the good part. However, this year his illness got the better of him, so he’s stuck here with me or the hospital until well enough to drive 6-7 hours back home.

Personally I think there are some other issues at play, but I’m not a Dr. However, his color is horrible. I’m concerned about his liver.

Well, need to get dressed for the Dr. Have my follow up from starting on my new med. Then getting the car inspected and possibly visiting the Memory care unit with my folks so Mom could get and idea of where Dad would be. We will do it under the guise of visiting my SIL’s father who is there.

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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Rig D on Fri Aug 24, 2018 8:44 am

That is an insane amount of fluid they drained. Hopefully it made her feel much better.
The Mom/Dad separation thing will be tough on everybody. Hope it goes well.
I hope your friend is feeling better. Too bad he isn't where he can visit his own MD and hospitals.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by tomi1000 on Fri Aug 24, 2018 1:07 pm

You seem to always have so much on your plate!!!! I admire your ability to deal with it all. You are such a strong woman Smile

My best friends parents just made the move to separate facilities. It was not their choice, but due to "physical altercations" the care facility required one of them be moved. They are in very similar conditions to your parents regarding memory and physical health. It is a tough adjustment, and they don't understand why its happening - even though it is explained multiple times, they forget. My friend told me the best advice she's been given so far is this, "it's a tough situation, but can't be changed. The best way to deal with it is to just accept it for what it is, and allow yourself to grieve what has been lost". They tell them, when asked why they are being separated, that they are just having a little vacation. It makes them feel better at the moment.

I hope your friend is able to heal soon and return home where he can get care from his regular doctors. And - to ease the burden and population of your home. Wink
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Fri Aug 24, 2018 8:02 pm

Ok, updates:

Went to see my Dr this morning, and all is well. I’m staying at my level of Celexa unless I feel I need to up it and then I’ll just have to call.

Car got inspected w/no issues=

Went to visit Mom and dad and had them visit the memory unit. Mom thought it looked nice. Then this evening the LTC call my SIL, it seems my dad was throwing napkins at my mom at dinner, then yelled that the server and refused to use his walker. The separation may happen regardless. Safety is more important.

Then the LTC called my SIL back her dad pulled the fire alarm

DF did go to the ER today. They did a CT and here he has a kidney stone. They will be doing surgery, it’s too big. Weird thing is, he wasn’t showing symptoms of one, at least normal symptoms. So he will be at the hospital for a few days or so. But that means he will be here for a while for recovery after.

My back is still an issue. Had DS work on it when I got home and I’ve had stim on it this evening.

Steps continue.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Annieh on Fri Aug 24, 2018 11:55 pm

It is awesome that your DH still has a friend who cares enough about him to visit even when he is so very unwell, but it's so very unfortunate that you end up caring for him too. Very sorry for the situation with your parents.

I hope your back is not seriously upset, keep taking care of you. xx
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Rig D on Sat Aug 25, 2018 6:39 am

+1
Good that your DF's condition is readily addressable, even if surgery is needed.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Sat Aug 25, 2018 12:18 pm

So this morning was spent on the phone, talking with DB, DSIL and the TLC facility. Things are in motion to get Dad moved however, it will take some time. They currently don’t have a male bed in the secured side, and he needs an order from his physician etc. However they did get a urine culture to check for a UTI, which in older adults can cause more confusion etc.

DF will have surgery, not sure when.

My back is doing better this morning after some Ibu last night and the stim.

Today I have cleaning to do. DH right now is sleeping, he woke with a fever, so not sure what’s up with him right now. Fun, fun

Had my hash for breakfast. Took me over 2 hours to get it as I was on and off the phone so much. Lunch will be whenever I get hungry again.

Life goes on
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Sat Aug 25, 2018 3:22 pm

You are a "handler" for whatever comes along! Flexible? I admire you.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Pedidoc on Sat Aug 25, 2018 4:57 pm

I am in awe of your strength and ability to juggle multiple moving parts with grace.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Vh67 on Sat Aug 25, 2018 6:26 pm

Pedidoc wrote:I am in awe of your strength and ability to juggle multiple moving parts with grace.

+1000000
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Sat Aug 25, 2018 8:33 pm

Thank you everyone. I will say I have my faith. Not all do, but I believe it’s God working through me, not me doing it alone.

DF did have surgery. His comment on FB, not to me directly was they by passed the stone and he will have to have it obliterated when he gets back to his home. Sounded strange, not sure why they would not just remove it, and not sure how you bypass it.

Did manage to get the BR that dad was using properly scrubbed. Also steam mopped DH’s floor to settle that mess.

Talked to Mom and she said that all the ladies rallied around her last night after my Dads outburst at dinner. She got hugs. That made her feel good, as I’m sure she was highly embarrassed. She is definitely on board with getting my Dad moved. I told her the ball was starting to roll, but she’d need to grin and bear it for a bit longer.

Lunch was liver and onions and an apple (well part, it wasn’t very good),
snack so I could take Ibu was 1/2 banana and nut butter.
Dinner was a burger with onion, tomato, mayo wrapped in a collard green leaf, coconut oil Sw pot chips - left from DD, and about 1/3 cup nada Moo (coconut milk ice cream).

I also had 2 85% choc little squares

Food has been good today.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Pedidoc on Sun Aug 26, 2018 3:12 pm

I am sure it feels good to get a few chores out of the way.  I am glad mom got support from her peers, I hope it helped relieve any embarrassment - as she has no control over dad.  Good work on the food choices.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:42 pm

Thanks Pedi.

Mom says today has been going well. crossing fingers it stays that way. Dad also slept better last night.

So today I got through my pantry, all expired items gone. Also the same for the cupboard that I’ve classified as my baking cupboard. Alternative flours, cocoa etc in there. Need to replace a few things, repackage others into some glass jars. But man that feels better.

Also did my laundry, so that is out of the way. I’m washing DF’s stuff to be kind for when he gets back. Who knows when that will be.

Made mayo this morning too. Feels good getting some things accomplished. Also straightened up the laundry room. Just a little homemaker today. Smile
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by The Walrus on Sun Aug 26, 2018 6:26 pm

So sweet the ladies supported your mom! And yes, UTIs can cause shocking changes in behaviour, in my old life in the hospital I saw it many times.

So good of you to wash DFs clothes!
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Pedidoc on Sun Aug 26, 2018 6:54 pm

You have been busy getting your home straightened out.  I am sure you have quite the sense of accomplishment.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Narrowminded on Mon Aug 27, 2018 5:48 pm

Yes I do feel accomplished. Still much to do, but feel so much better now, than I did.

Got some much needed errands run today and visited with Mom and Dad. He was in a better mood again today, at least while I was there

My mom was so happy to see me. I wish I could get there everyday.

DF just posted that the docs told him he was in septic shock when he got there on Friday. Wish that man would not be so darn stubborn. He called last night. He’s weak etc. Well yeah. He says he thinks he’ll be dead by the end of the year. I told him I didn’t think so. Hopefully they can figure out what infection he has and get it cleared once and for all so he can heal up properly. Of course that would mean eating better too

Sleep last night wasn’t great, hopefully tonight will be better.

Steps continue 238 days

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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by The Walrus on Mon Aug 27, 2018 5:52 pm

Great work on the steps!
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by perennialpam on Mon Aug 27, 2018 6:00 pm

Do you have any contact information for DF? This sounds bad. You cannot take on another person's health....IMHO. I believe you said he lived many hours away. Wonder whatever made him come to your house when feeling so ill. This is very worrisome for you.

Glad you got some things done around the house especially since it makes you feel better. I totally understand that. Been working on this again too
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

Post by Meant2Move on Mon Aug 27, 2018 7:21 pm

This feels a bit heartless to type out, but I'm glad DF made it to the hospital before he collapsed in your home, and I'd wish for your sake that he could just go home when released, but it doesn't sound as if that is likely given the drive.

Very pleased that your mom is not fighting the idea of your dad going to a higher level care facility. It sounds as if she has good support where she is, perhaps her quality of life will be higher for the change.

Congrats on your many accomplishments and for keeping those steps going.
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Re: Narrowminded Continues - part 2

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