Narrowminded continues

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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by ONTARIO on Tue Feb 20, 2018 1:03 pm

Pedidoc wrote:I hear you on the laps.  I wonder what hotel security thinks, with me walking the hallways. Question

I worked many years in the hotel industry. Trust me, they see MUCH weirder things than someone pacing the hallways. You are not a concern to them. I could tell you stories.

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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Pedidoc on Tue Feb 20, 2018 8:20 pm

Good to know hotel security isn't going to trouble themselves with me.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Meant2Move on Tue Feb 20, 2018 8:26 pm

Pedidoc wrote:Good to know hotel security isn't going to trouble themselves with me.

Nope, I do that sort of thing all the time, no one ever calls me on it.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Meant2Move on Tue Feb 20, 2018 8:27 pm

Hey NM, what excellent news on the fasting blood sugar. I'm with you - keep that well under control. That was a positive for me when we visiting MIL in January. Several morning fasted tests gave me good results.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Annieh on Wed Feb 21, 2018 8:49 pm

Well done on the steps, and great news also about the blood sugar.

It's sad that motivation comes from seeing or predecessors going where we don't want to follow, but that's the way it is with me too.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Narrowminded on Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:47 pm

Well yesterday went downhill quite quickly. DM had been complaining of stomach issues, that were coming and going. She finally got more definitive yesterday that it felt like she was being squeezed. Also found out that she was keeping her bra strap open to relieve pressure. She had been to the Dr last Wed and was given somethng for gastric reflux and a script for a sonogram of her ab. She delayed calling as she’d feel good a day then bad again

After the speaking with her and DSIL we decided, no more fooling around and SIL wisked her off to the ER. A CT later and we now know she has a mass on her pancreas.

That lead to admission for follow up tests and DDad being brought here. He’s been suffering from some dementia that’s getting worse, in part due to him forgetting to take his thyroid med. Followers from MDA will know he had his removed last July. He cannot stay alone and DB & SIL don’t have a bedroom on the first floor, so he’s here with me for a few days. OMG my poor mother. He has gotten so very bad.

Now he is in my bed, I am on the couch. He was up every hour last night using the bathroom. Tonight he kept looking for something and could not find it. Then he was ready to shave tomorrow with the TV controller.

I see getting him someplace safe very, very soon. I cannot take care of him long term, not with DH too. It’s too much

Mom had and enhanced CT today and will have a biopsy Friday morning, then we will know for sure what we are dealing with, but oncology has already been consulted. If they decide to try and remove this, it will be bad. She’ll need help while she recovers, and she won’t be able to care for Dad.

Anyway, Dads been way over doing the candy cookie, snack thing. He’s having a tough time here as i don’t have any of that stuff. He keeps looking for something to munch on. Tonight he said he thought we had crackers or something. Nope. He finally settled for a hard cooked egg. This is cold turkey primal for a very SAD guy. Doesn’t even help he’s confused as he forgets when I tell him I don’t have it.

So. Ow I have to get some sleep and pray for a better night.

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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Annieh on Thu Feb 22, 2018 3:09 am

Oh NM, it's just so much. So sad to see your parents going through old age. May you get a better sleep.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by perennialpam on Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:29 am

Oh my. Bad news indeed.

Hope you find a solution for your father quickly. However, I realize even looking for a place for him takes time and research.

Now with mom worries....just too much for you missy.

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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Pedidoc on Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:10 am

Wow! When it rains it pours. I am sending thoughts and prayers for you and your family. Please make sure you take care of you, as with everything that is going on it would be easy to forget yourself.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Rig D on Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:06 am

^ +1.
So sorry to hear your Dad is declining so rapidly and pray that the mass is non-cancerous.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Narrowminded on Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:45 pm

Update. It seems after yesterday’s CT we may be looking at cysts. We will know more tomorrow after the biopsy. The GI is not convinced at the moment that it is CA. I’m not jumping to any conclusions until we have more info.

Last night I couldn’t help but keep thinking of the movie Hook and the chartacter who was looking all over for his marbles. That was dad last night always looking for that elusive thing. Then asking me about the part that was missing so he could shave, he was holding the TV remote. So very sad.

Today at the store, I did pick up some GF crackers for him. We will see how many he actually eats. I’ve also been sure to up his Kerrygold intake on his one slice of GF bread with his bacon and eggs for breakfast. Hopefully as his thyroid med gets caught up and the extra fat, it might help his brain a little. I know it’s not a cure, but if it could ease things a bit, it would be good.

Yes, doing my best to care for me through all of this.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Narrowminded on Fri Feb 23, 2018 11:54 pm

Had DS help me bring a mattress down into the dining room. The couch was definitely not cutting it. It seems I will have dad at least a few more days if not more.

Mom had the endo/biopsy today and they have now definitely said it is pancreatic cancer. They told her they may be able to shrink it or remove it. Biopsy results are supposed to come Tues. I’m guessing they will send her home in the morning as her tests were only at 3 in the afternoon. We will need an appt with oncology to discuss all the gritty details.

As for Dad we are going to have to find him a place. Mom won’t be able to take care of him and with what I have going on, I can’t keep him here long terms.

It’s all so very sad. Mom says she feels good and I’m not sure it’s all sunk in with her yet. Dads had CA in a few places, but he’s always lucked out for the most part. He had a kidney removed about 14 years ago and that was encapsulated, so no chemo or radiation, then a lesion in his throat, just some radiation. They took his thyroid on suspicion but it ended up testing negative. However it was attached to his vocal chords, so needed. So I think at this point she thinks things will be like dad.

Anyway, through it all, I’ve got Dad eating well and I’ve stuck to primal. Trust me, I’ve got all the motivation i need to eat for health.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by The Walrus on Sat Feb 24, 2018 5:14 am

Praying for you and your family, NM. And especially for a good night's sleep and lots of primal food!
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Pedidoc on Sat Feb 24, 2018 11:04 am

{{{hugs}}} ^+1
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Meant2Move on Sat Feb 24, 2018 8:01 pm

Wow, you don't need this... So sorry for the extra challenges. Hoping for the best for you, big hugs!

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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Narrowminded on Sat Feb 24, 2018 10:29 pm

Thanks girls.

Mom did come home today. She wanted to go to her apt, so DB took her there, however she was too unsteady. We had already decided to keep dad here a day while she Reaclimated, she’s now at my brothers place to get back on her feet.

Yesterday I tried to get her to do a loop around the unit but she absolutely refused. So today my brother told her she should have walked with me. The good news is I know he will make her walk at his place. She won’t be happy, and she will probably wish she had done it at the hospital.

Word is the oncologist said they’d call to set up an appt this week. My SIL is going to try for Thurs or Fri when I can be there as well. And my DB and I are on the same page in regards to treatment. Obviously it’s up to mom but we agree on how we feel.

Food is still on track thru it all. Fed Dad chicken, Brussels and butternut for dinner. He’s doing great on paleo. Of course he doesn’t know that’s what it is. Just good whole food to him. Too bad it won’t stay that way.

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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Pedidoc on Sat Feb 24, 2018 10:54 pm

Again I am amazed by your resilience. I would be curled up in a ball hiding under a blanket. Sad You are continuing on. All I can say is "You are woman, hear you roar!" Cool
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Annieh on Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:57 am

NM, what a precious thing to feed your Dad so well, even though for such a short time and you have so much else on your plate to deal with.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Rig D on Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:22 am

I'm glad that you and DB agree on what needs to be done. Hopefully you will be successful in applying kid pressure on Mom. Nice that you have his support on this stuff.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by perennialpam on Sun Feb 25, 2018 12:35 pm

I agree that it is nice your brother and you are on the same page. I hope he helps with finding your dad a safe place.

And, your poor mom. You are right, she probably is in shock for her own diagnosis and/or doesn't really understand how bad it can be.

You are such a trooper and bless you for taking in your dad along with your normal duties.

[[ hugs ]]
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by tomi1000 on Sun Feb 25, 2018 2:19 pm

Holy Moly! I just read some of your entries to my hubby. I hope you know you have much support through prayer and positive thoughts - not that it helps with actually "doing" life right now - but maybe it can help on an emotional level.

Its good that you have your brother and his wife to help with everything. I hope you find a good, safe place for your dad, and the cancer turns out to be much less than the doctors expect, and easily treated.

I get the concern about the T2 and hypertension - 2 of my sisters have T2, one has htn and so does my mom. So I try to keep an eye on that also - and as my weight has increased 30 pounds over the past 3 years it has me kinda worried. I've worked for an endo in a diabetes clinic for the past 17 years and I know the damage that diabetes can do to a body - it isn't good. So, good for you for keeping an eye on those things and for eating for your health under some very difficult life circumstances.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Narrowminded on Sun Feb 25, 2018 11:21 pm

After all the accolades for my brother, I’m going to knock him right off of the pedestal.

So while he is concerned about me having an extra load with dad, I don’t believe he’s made a good judgment call with mom. Dad has been doing a bit better each day, due to good nutrition, getting meds on time and getting used to being in a different place with a faulty memory.

Ok, so this morning I call my mom, talk to SIL and then her. She is doing much better today, slept most of last evening and then all night. Last night was having trouble figuring out her insulin, but fine this morning. Mostly likely due to the morphine from the hospital wearing off. She did shower there.

She says she’s doing ok. Not really any pain at that time.

Next thing I know my brother texts that he’s coming to get dad. I asked if he was taking them home to their apt. Yup, that’s the plan. I had figured I’d have my dad one more day.

When they get here, DB is in a hurry. Helps mom come in. I walk her back to see DH and she is using the wall the entire way. Not normal for her. DB get Dads stuff and off they go.

I was just about to call mom and check on her since we didn’t have much time to talk when they were here, when she called me. She thought they were going to stay a little bit and chat. I asked her how she was? She said ok I guess. I’m just sitting. I’m ok doing that.

My DB and SIL went grocery shopping for them and brought back dinner from the grocery - mashed potatoes and fried chicken. (My bro had a heart attack 8+ years ago and is still severly overweight.). They also bought bread, lunch meat, milk and who knows. They are very SAD eaters.

I told my mom, if at anytime she is uncomfortable or feels unsafe, that she can call and I will find a way to get them here. Later spoke to DS, he was not happy and said he’d def go get them if needed. I told her even if it was 3 AM.

Unbelievable

As for my dad, I want to see what the Dr has to say. I’d like to keep,them together as long as possible as I expect the prognosis to not be long. Not sure how we will manage it, but as hard as it is for her to deal with his forgetfulness, she’s going to want him by her side as long as possible.

I also told mom I will be making them freezer meals this week and freezing in 1 meal portions. While they don’t have to be paleo, I do want them To have good whole food at least for 1 meal a day. Also going to make them a breakfast casserole to eat off of as well. I don’t want to leave it up to my very SAD brothers fam.

I was telling DS and we were laughing as the fried chicken, is chicken right? Just like the tater tots they fed her last night were potatoes


Thank you everyone for the thoughts and prayers. As you can see they will be much appreciated.

Still getting my steps, food is good for the most part and mindfulness continues.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by perennialpam on Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:08 am

I am so sorry to read this. Just what you need a family quarrel about mom and dad when they are not in the best of shape.

Offering your food is a wonderful way to support them. I'm sure you are beside yourself with this new wrinkle.

I will keep you in my thoughts. for sure.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Pedidoc on Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:21 am

Sending my thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I am glad to hear that you are taking care of you. Family, what can you say.....
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Re: Narrowminded continues

Post by Rig D on Mon Feb 26, 2018 7:28 am

Agree with all the above. I hope your parents are OK on their own, it definitely sounds like a premature move putting them together alone as quickly as was done. Your Mom does not sound like she's ready for it yet.
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Re: Narrowminded continues

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